I recently inherited the care of my nearly 93 year old dad who was living with my brother who told me to "come get him". Obviously assisted care living is something I'm avoiding right now but hope things will get better with visiting so we can do that. In the meantime, he is here. We are in another state so the past month has been getting new doctors and a many years over due dental exam. He has a heart issue that the cardiologist says he can't fix without an angiogram and that dad is too old and weak and if it was his dad he wouldn't put him through it. He has pulmonary fibrosis that has reduced his lung efficiency to 65%. He has sleep apnea that was untreated so I'm working on that (he will balk but I will try). He has moderate dementia and has been tested and can't make informed choice. And the dentist wants to do two crowns. Its not the cost of the two crowns ($1K each) but is it worth it to put him through the procedure (I personally hate dental work so I cringe at the thought). The dentist says his teeth are decaying around and under the crown but dad isn't good about brushing. He is independent about getting himself dressed and shaved etc... so me standing over him to brush is teeth is not something I want to do (is that bad?) I'm putting it off for now getting the doctors and PT and visiting nurses and sleep study first. I am overwhelmed. Ironically, I was the first of the three kids to say I never wanted him to live with me... and now, here I am!
We did NOTHING. We decided if the teeth started giving trouble, we would have them pulled. Husband lived another 1 1/2 years before he died this past July. His teeth never gave trouble and weren't a factor when he died.
Dentistry is sometimes a racket for older people in this day and time. They know you probably have the money and they just assume you're an easy target. If I were you, I'd have those teeth pulled IF IT'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Don't put your dad through anything he doesn't have to go through. Life is hard enough. Enough is enough! Just keep him comfortable.
That's not what's going to kill my mother or your dad. They're at the age where you decide which treatments are worth doing and which aren't.