Dad as a dementia patient is vastly different than dad when he was in his right mind. Before dementia, dad was a reserved, quiet man. After dementia (and he’s moved from the initial to later stages since contracting and surviving COVID), he has had increasing incidents of resistance (and anger) to help from the caregivers at the AL home where he lives. He has never physically lashed out, but he will refuse to do as they ask, argue about things, and generally be negative about his situation - especially when his mood is sour. These moods change as the day progresses, with resistant behavior most prominent in the afternoon to late evening or when he’s tired. Lack of independence and isolation seem to be key issues that trigger this behavior. For example, last night the caregiver on with dad had him call me because dad was angry that we’d had them unplug the lift chair he has in his room. He likes to play with the lift remote to raise and lower his chair, and has slid off the chair and fallen to the floor several times because he falls asleep while it’s in the raised position. Dad is unable to walk or pick himself up off of the floor since COVID. He was angry with me for allowing them to do this, because he felt he wanted his independence. We compromised by allowing the chair to be plugged in while he was wearing a motion sensor. The team there is working with me to keep him feeling more secure, but he alienates himself from the staff with his anger and resistance. I’m just looking for approaches that have proved useful with dementia patients who exhibit this type of behavior. There is a memory care side to the home, but dad can’t move there yet because it’s full.
Afternoon & late afternoon agitation and argumentativeness is known as Sundowning & is very common as dementia progresses along it's miserable way. There are things you can do to try to eliminate or reduce Sundowning, but you're not there in the ALF with him.............so, I don't know. Here's a link:
https://medilodgeofludington.com/announcement/10-tips-to-recognize-reduce-sundowning-delirium-in-dementia-patients/
Anger & resistance/arguing in general go along with dementia. If I say black, mom says white. If I agree it's white, she's back to saying it's black. Nature of the beast, and dementia is a beast. You can and should speak to your dad's doctor about his behavior so perhaps a mild sedative can be prescribed to calm him down some, which may or may not work, who knows? CBD oil has been known to work wonders for some dementia sufferers, as well as one son bought his mom a BioMat mini and says it changed her from a lion into a lamb. It's all trial & error really. For my mother, it's all been a bunch of errors as NO medications seem to work, and they all exacerbate her moderately advanced dementia. We're now trying to wean her off the last miserable failure of a medication that was tried.
The trouble with motion sensors is this: by the time the alarm goes off, they're already on the floor. The CG will come in and find my mother on the floor after her bed or chair alarm goes off, b/c there's no such thing as a sensor that will alert someone to a POTENTIAL fall.
Memory Care is the best bet for your dad, once there's an opening. Will it change his behaviors? Nope. But the staff is more accustomed to the residents and their combative/quirky behaviors so they have lots of tricks up their sleeves to deal with it. They also don't like having the residents sequestered in their rooms all day, so they'll urge them to come out & join the happenings in the activity room where everyone hangs out.
So, if dad gets angry with you for authorizing the unplugging of his chair, so be it. You can always tell him the motor is broken or some such thing, I lie to my mother like a rug whenever necessary. Anything to keep her calm & happy, that's the goal with dementia. It's called 'therapeutic fibbing' but I call it doing whatever you have to do to keep the peace.
Wishing you the best of luck dealing with a dreadful condition. I hate dementia with every ounce of my being.
I don’t think you should get into discussions about “allowing him” - if something is unsafe, that’s just the way it is, and if the solution is pulling the plug, there’s no discussion - “That’s the rule”. He can either live by the rules or lose the use of the chair.
If there is a psychologist/psychiatrist within the present setting, a consult with that person may be helpful.
hug!!
i do understand, the importance of trying to keep things safe.
at the same time, i understand the father too -- if his only pleasure is to go up/down with the lift chair, kind of like an amusement park ride...why not.
it's awful to "live", bored, alone, doing nothing, no pleasures.
i do of course understand there's safety to think about.
i wish us all courage, strength, in helping our loved ones!!
bundle