I have my LO’s ashes. This person never wanted to discuss or make plans about death. It was like if we do not talk about, it will not happen. I have some ideas how I will handle the situation, but would like to hear from others on this forum what they did with the ashes; other than placing or burial in a cemetery.
Step-father were spread on the outgoing tide of the sea where they lived, one evening when beach was deserted.
My stepmom's ashes are on the shelf in the living room along with the ashes of 4 of my dogs.
My stepmom wanted to be scattered in the ocean, so when I have a chance, we are going on a cruise and I will scatter them there. One of my friends told me that one of the cruise lines has a special ceremony for this. I can't remember which one, but you just need to tell them in advance.
My mom and dad had a sweet elderly neighbor. She wasn’t married, no children, nor any living relatives. She left everything in the hands of the woman who lived across the street from us. The woman across the street wasn’t trustworthy and deceived the old woman. The old woman left her everything. her house, jewelry, all that she had to the woman that she thought was her friend.
The old woman was Jewish. She had purchased a plot in the Jewish cemetery years before she was even sick. She DID NOT wish to be cremated. It was against her religious beliefs.
The woman across the street invited all of the neighbors over. supposedly for a gathering to remember Ruth. It turned out that the woman across the street had her body cremated, she then attempted to hand out teaspoons to everyone to spoon Ruth’s ashes into Ruth’s rose garden. It was awful! My parents and everyone else in attendance were horrified and would not spoon her cremains into the rose garden.
It is truly sad when someone has no respect for the person who trusts them to do what is right.
Your situation is different. You weren’t told anything specific, so it is up to you what is done.
There is a specific body of water on the West Coast of Canada where I would like to become fish food. If I am living far from there, then any moving body of water, a river, stream etc. Not a stagnant pond is some cemetery either.
There is a beautiful cemetery where I plan to live out my years, my grandfather is interred there, my great Granny's ashes are there are are a dozen or so other family members. I would consider that too. When I say a beautiful cemetery I am referring to the local one that is in the trees, beside the ocean. No manicured lawns, just a place a peace.
Mum's ashes when the time comes will go into the Ocean where her Mum's did.
My sister's mom-in-law got little silver boxes with ashes in each for all the children and herself. They are engraved with her husband's name and dates.
My mom has a prepaid cremation and box. The family will scatter her ashes in the ocean at a much later date than her memorial.
Do what helps you and the rest of the family to remember this person with kindness. Do whatever gives peace.
I'm sorry for your loss.
So I took his earthly remains to the place where his earthly happiness was.
When my nephew died, my brother would not make any decisions about what he wanted to do. We had offered to pay for the services and he just had to arrange it, no go. I, also, told him that I would have the cremains shipped to him, all he had to do was put his address on the FAX that he had to send to the crematorium, no go. After trying to get my brother to do something, for 3 months, he had ALL the authority, the medical examiner told me that something had to be decided or they would deal with it, basically cremate him throw the remains out. I think he said flush them. This prompted my brother to sign the required release so I could pay for the cremation.
I made the decision to have him cremated and separate his remains into little packs so that each sibling and both parents and incubating mom could each get one and go say there personal goodbyes at some place that they had good times with him.
We then had a celebration of life. Which my brother couldn't be bothered to attend.
So, as ghoulish as it seems to separate the cremains, I believe that it gave all of my nieces and nephews the chance to say goodbye in the best way possible.
I think that putting their remains where they had happiness is the best thing to do, if you are not placing them in a cemetery.
What was your LO's hobbies or favorite places? I would start with that.
Sorry about your loss,
Jenna
There is a service online through which the Departed can be pressed into a diamond.
Some people “donate” their LOs to the NY SUBWAY System.
My sis works in long term care and you'd be surprised how many people there have an urn stored away in their closet either because they hope to be interred together or because they didn't take care of things soon enough, what's problematic is when nobody bothers to collect them after the resident passes away.
Another co-worker, his wife had his ashes further processed and melted to glass discs. She gave one to me and a few others to other close friends.
There are places that will make Jewelry specifically diamonds from ashes. (they probably cost as much as or more than a stone you would buy at a jewelry store.)
I always told my Husband if I died before he did that I wanted him to scatter my ashes in the garden. (He would get so upset that I would even talk about death)
I think most people just place them in a "niche" in/at the cemetery.