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I have my LO’s ashes. This person never wanted to discuss or make plans about death. It was like if we do not talk about, it will not happen. I have some ideas how I will handle the situation, but would like to hear from others on this forum what they did with the ashes; other than placing or burial in a cemetery.

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Plant a tree/bush in their memory. Mix the ashes with the soil. Simple yet respectful.
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Ricky6 Aug 2021
I like your idea, however, we live in the city high rise and cannot do.
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Many people choose to keep the Ashes.

you cam even have jewelry made from Ashes.

Lots of people spread them somewhere special that meant something to the person.

LIike if the person enjoyed hiking in the Mountains, then spread them at the top of a mountain.

If the person loved the Beach then spread the Ashes on the sand or in the ocen.

If you don't know of a place, spread the Ashes someplace that makes you happy.
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I personally find the trend to divvy up cremains into multiple containers to pass out to friends and family or making jewellery and other keepsakes ghoulish and creepy (but hey, to each their own)

My sis works in long term care and you'd be surprised how many people there have an urn stored away in their closet either because they hope to be interred together or because they didn't take care of things soon enough, what's problematic is when nobody bothers to collect them after the resident passes away.
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Cover99 Jul 2021
Your first paragraph Lol. Many friends and family, "ghost" after the service is over.
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Do people understand that the next generation who inherits kept ashes will be burdened with them (and subsequent generations!) so they might get discarded anyway? I told my sons to either scatter mine at our favorite beach (into the water, far out where they can't accidentally land on anyone - ew!) or to add them into a small concrete mold of a sea creature and put them far out off the beach into the water so that it eventually functions as a reef (which is what the DNR there does so I already know this is beneficial and not harmful). If you keep the remains please provide the funds and directions for what to do with them when YOU pass on.
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cak2135 Aug 2021
There is no next generation with me; I never married nor had children
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My cremains will go to Eternal Reefs. As a life long lover of the ocean, I will be made into a reef bell and taken out to a location in the ocean. Within several months, marine life will begin to grow replacing the loss of so much of our sea life.
At my family cemetery, I'm asking my name be added on the headstone with the GPS marker of my ocean resting place.
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Harpcat Aug 2021
Wow..never heard of that. Lovely idea.
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I jokingly tell my DD that I want to be kept on her mantle where ever she goes so I can watch over her... Luckily she knows I am kidding! I want dumped in the WV river I love!
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I buried my mother's in her backyard. She loved the place, so she can stay there. We scattered my friend's parents in the woods. One of my best friend's husband loved his Dozer (dog). When Dozer died he had him cremated and never did anything with the ashes. When Bill died, she mixed his ashes with Dozer's ashes and scattered them on trails where they used to run. That way they would always be together. I was at a memorial service where the gal requested to be scattered on her beloved 2 acre desert property.

Back when God was a child, I worked for the Forest Service and I used to write permits for scattering ashes. The permit system was so all the ashes wouldn't be in one place. For instance, if a particular place wasn't requested, I would issue a permit for Black Mountain, next time it would be Thomas Mountain, then Indian Truck Trail and so on.

Many many years ago a friend's grandma wanted to be scattered over the Sierra Nevada Mountains. They rolled her ashes up in a long scarf, flew a small plane over the mountains, and dumped her out. The problem was, the scarf was too short and the wind blew a lot of grandma back in the plane. He said they probably vacuumed as much of Grandma up as got dumped over the Sierras.
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When it's my turn to go I would like my ashes to go into a body of water since I'm a water person. I love oceans, rivers, streams, etc.

What was your LO's hobbies or favorite places? I would start with that.

Sorry about your loss,
Jenna
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I worked in an office where burial certificates were issued and I was talking to one of the undertakers and he said their attic had LOTS of cremations that were never claimed. And they have to keep them. I joked that even in death you could gain weight just from the dust collecting on your box of cremains.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2021
Weird things happen! My uncle worked in a post office. A person came into the post office and opened up the shipped box of cremains to take a look at the urn. She dropped the urn and it broke. The ashes spilled all over the post office floor. It was at a very busy period and people were walking on top of the ashes. A postal worker asked everyone to step aside while they swept up the ashes and put them in a shipping box to give to the crying woman.
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We put my Mom in an inlet near a lighthouse. We did it sneakily but she now is floating around the ocean. Every year on her birthday, we put flowers from our gardens into the ocean from whatever beach we may be near at the time. My sis and I are within 30 minutes of beaches so it may be our homes. This year, my DD put some in from a beach in the Outer Banks and we had her children do it so now the tradition will carry on.
So much better than a grave that may or may not be visited. I don't think I've visited my Dad's grave in 45 years as it is far away yet Mom's is fluid, literally.
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