Is there anyone out there besides me who wishes their mother would die? This miserable woman has lived with me for 5 years and I don't know how much more of her I can take. She is constantly trying to start an arguement with me. I don't get it. She has 3 other children who want nothing to do with her, I take her in and I get all the crap. Someone, please, just tell me you understand...all I want is a little sympathy and understanding for someone!
I went to my preacher with the same question.
No, you are not a terrible person. You don't really want her to die - you want her to no longer be suffering.
If she weren't sick or needing all of this, you would not be wishing she was dead...
and that's it - at least for me.
One day there was a ministry inspector at the NH. They attend yearly and pick 3 people to ask if they have any concerns, meaning about the home or their care. Mommie Dearest said yes, I don't know where the money went from the sale of my house ... she was kept up to speed throughout the whole process. That brought the government down on my head like I was a common criminal. Of course I presented paperwork showing where the money was invested and that was the end of that
Due to all the stress I blacked out doing 85 in my truck. It only lasted a few seconds but it was a wake up call. It was many weeks before I felt confident enough to drive anywhere but the tiny nearby village. I changed my phone number and made it unlisted so she couldn't get at me any more though I continued to run her errands, filled with dread for a couple of days before and drained for a couple of days after. I have carpal tunnel and went to the doc to see about getting my hands fixed but my blood pressure was dangerously high ... go figure! I was supposed to go back for a recheck and, if it was still, high, get some meds (which I hate the thought of).
She passed on September 12, 2015. I was so happy she'd gone and a lifetime of nightmare was finally over. The palpitations and thundering stomach 24/7 quickly went away. I'm getting my life back together and I've decided to take a few months to recover. I live in the country with 2 dogs and 4 cats and will spend the next while organizing my tiny home and planning veggie gardens for spring.
I'm an only child and friends are mostly far away. I get invitations but Christmas will be just me and my beloved critters, peace and quiet, wood stove going, a nice meal and watching old movies. This Christmas is ours, free of the terror once and for all.
At one time she was quite ill and I moved to Oregon to help out. She has some moibility problems but is quite healthy otherwise.
My mother has npd/bpd and thinks and treats me as her slave all the while ruining my reputation, lies constantly to me, about me. Shes never at fault for anything and finds a way to scapegoat me. She trianglates stories, tells anyone who will listen, that Im jealous, stealing, planning to steal. Anytime i set boundries, im mean, nit pics, nothing is good enough, puts on that I have chip on shoulder, controlling. Pits her childern against each other. When confronted, always makes herself victim. Has accused me of making passes at my stepdad. Ive told her there isnt any reason why she cant do anything for herself, im not waiting on her. She tells others she is helpless, invalid. She has and will sabatoge anything I am planning to do or want to. I tell her nothing anymore. Shes relentless. She insists on drving and has had accidents, runs red lights and insists its someone elses fault. She is impossible. She refuses to bath and hasnt for over a year. Claims intense fear to be alone, i think she is faking it. Told me that Im not intilted to any personal life. I can go on and on. Tries to use fear to manipulate and control.
Im angry all most of time. She has told me my needs and wants are insignifcant.
I am financially stuck here, till i find another job.
Right after u moved here i relized shes an npd.
When I do leave, i will have go no contact.
I cant stand her, i will help out for my stepdad, but i dont owe anyone my life because of her sense of entiltement. Obviously, she doesnt care nor has she ever nor will she. Its all been a lie and its only about her.