Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Being depressed is totally understandable and very common for caregivers. I'm sorry you are going through this.
You do have solutions:
You can either hire (privately or through an agency) a companion aid for him to keep him occupied and take him places so you can have your life,
or
you transition him to AL.
Hiring in-home caregivers will prevent him from resisting going anywhere, but then you'll need help at night. Round-the-clock caregiving will eventually cost more than a facility.
I can only guess that the reason your husband no longer wants to attend group sessions is because he can no longer follow any dialog or even understand the spoken word much any more and feels uncomfortable in settings like that. And I don't blame him. If like my late husband he just wanted to stay home in his chair and watch TV, which I let him do. However I did not stop living my life best I could. Even if it meant just getting out to do lunch or supper with a friend, going to church Sunday mornings, or running to the grocery store. Anything to get out and about to rejuvenate my soul. And in your case it may mean hiring someone to come in a few days a week so you can get out and do the things that bring you joy. If your husband is a veteran, the VA has help available, the Shepherd Center has free volunteers that will come stay with your husband for a few hours and Senior Services may also have volunteers available. There is help out there, you just have to do your homework. I wish you well as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
I am so sorry. This must be very difficult. I can't personally see what you can do about any of this.
You say that he doesn't attend group sessions at senior center and prefers to watch TV. I am 81 and my partner is 83. He is a political junky who loves TV and I avoid politics like the plague and watch very little TV. Moreover, even if watching together, he likes comedy, I love true crime. So go figure. There isn't a whole lot that we do that IS together, but we live together and share those moments you do. I think that you may be left finding your own contentment. When he IS at senior center doing his own thing, that's the time for YOU to do your own thing. Again, there sure isn't any perfect in all of this. That old thing they tried to tell us about old age being a good time? Who were they trying to kid?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You do have solutions:
You can either hire (privately or through an agency) a companion aid for him to keep him occupied and take him places so you can have your life,
or
you transition him to AL.
Hiring in-home caregivers will prevent him from resisting going anywhere, but then you'll need help at night. Round-the-clock caregiving will eventually cost more than a facility.
Are you his PoA? If not, is anyone?
And I don't blame him.
If like my late husband he just wanted to stay home in his chair and watch TV, which I let him do. However I did not stop living my life best I could. Even if it meant just getting out to do lunch or supper with a friend, going to church Sunday mornings, or running to the grocery store. Anything to get out and about to rejuvenate my soul.
And in your case it may mean hiring someone to come in a few days a week so you can get out and do the things that bring you joy.
If your husband is a veteran, the VA has help available, the Shepherd Center has free volunteers that will come stay with your husband for a few hours and Senior Services may also have volunteers available.
There is help out there, you just have to do your homework.
I wish you well as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
You say that he doesn't attend group sessions at senior center and prefers to watch TV. I am 81 and my partner is 83. He is a political junky who loves TV and I avoid politics like the plague and watch very little TV. Moreover, even if watching together, he likes comedy, I love true crime. So go figure. There isn't a whole lot that we do that IS together, but we live together and share those moments you do. I think that you may be left finding your own contentment. When he IS at senior center doing his own thing, that's the time for YOU to do your own thing.
Again, there sure isn't any perfect in all of this. That old thing they tried to tell us about old age being a good time? Who were they trying to kid?
I am wishing you the best.