My brother has put my mother in a home without consulting the other four children. He has used this POA to change her banking accounts into his name, he has put her house up for sale, which sold for $330,000, it is in escrow. He has taken her off her living trust as a trustee, he has taken my sister, Donna off the Living Trust as a executor. How can we stop him, we cannot afford a lawyer at $325 an hour.
Something about your posts troubles me and I suspect others as well
As I understand your concern being on the east coast and trying to seek help
Perhaps take a break and come back tomorrow
Is Leonard the only sibling in San Diego who can help your mom? Richard won't and Patti can't and Donna who agreed to decided to leave town?
You say mom has no assets other than the house approx $300,000? Nursing homes are not cheap -$6,000 - $9,000 a month
What is your mom's age and overall health? Even with dementia she could outlast money from sale of house
If she doesn't need skilled nursing then look into residential board and care which are smaller homes with 6 or so residents and much cheaper than a facility if suitable for her age and needs
If you truly believe that Leonard is out to harm your mom then notify adult protective services - there should be a link on this site to the area agency for San Diego county
We believe Leonard is getting back at our mother for his childhood.Because there is no other reason to keep her where she is, the nicer place is less expensive. But we feel he is punishing his mother. thank you for all you advice, but I feel it is hard to understand the mess in a few words. My brother has alienated his one ally, my brother, Richard, saying to Richard "I am the only one with a brain in this whole family.!" Leonard said that to me on the phone when this all started.
It seems that now Patti can no longer resume care and she wants mom placed in a care facilty - is this accurate ?
Not to stereotype but most men are wired to solve problems -
Problem: mom's needs can't be met at home -
Solution: need POA in order to make decisions and access available assets to pay for long term care that she can afford
Now if Leonard has ulterior motives and thinks the government will pay for nursing home while he gains financially he will be disappointed with medicaid's look back period
If the three sisters believe a different facility is in your mother's best interest and price range then focus your energy on making that happen
Look up both facilities on the Medicare site and check ratings and complaints - men aren't apt to do this
My brother would have let the hospital send my mom to a nearby one star nursing home not because he was malicious but because it was easier than going around and checking the places out himself
Is your brother acting unreasonably ? I don't know but your mom needs the love and attention of all her children or at least one able to put her interests above sibling squabbling
Does your brother object to moving your mom to a facility of patti's choosing? If so do you know why? Do you all live nearby and share visiting hours or does it fall to one or two of you?
My sister hasn't seen my mom since last November - her opinion of my choices regarding mom bear no weight on any decision I make but I keep her informed
My brother will not visit my mom unless I force the issue but again I keep him informed
I have sole financial POA and in the event something happens to me both sister and brother have health care proxy - I'm in my 50s and work long hours - they're in their 70s and collect pensions - is it fair ? I'd say NO
Caring for an elderly parent is hard - caring for an elderly parent with dementia is hard - add in agitation and other health issues and limited financial resources and it is a nightmare
I sort of felt we got mixed information regarding that you were OK that your Mom's house was Sold, but not quite comfortable with the way he went about it. The there are 2 other siblings in the picture, whom you haven't given us clear picture on their concerns nor involvement. I honestly was only trying to help get a better understanding of the situation. That's what we do, since you reached out for help. It does no good calling people /ME names, thank you, Stacey B
If your mother needs the money, she needs to have it w/o any rescission or potentially fraudulent actions.
You are legitimately concerned she'll run out of money. But apparently your brother has access to the bank accounts (although you're aware of the funds she has left). If you are familiar with how he's handling the bank accounts, are there improprieties there?
I'm a bit confused about how much information you have about your brother's activity, including the status of the house sale. You apparently want it to go through, but want to challenge your brother's authority.
If in fact he doesn't have legitimate authority, that needs to be addressed in conjunction with the sale, NOW. The realtor, title company and purchaser have a right to know. They rely on certain representations, and if he doesn't have the authority to make these representations, the premises for selling and closing could be false. This is not something to treat lightly.
Do you know what the specific "hurdles" are? This would help clarify the situation.
Is there evidence that he has been using the money for personal gain? Or does he appear to be using it only for your mother's care? If you get the small home for your mother, who would provide the care?
Was it drafted by an attorney? If so, that attorney should have privately met with your mother before execution of the document to ensure that it reflected her wishes as well as that she understood the implications.
2. I would contact the realtor and advise briefly of the situation, emphasizing that you do not believe your mother (a) was mentally qualified to sign a new POA naming your brother as proxy (b) that you and your siblings are challenging the validity of the document (c) that you have contacted counsel and are prepared to contest the validity of the document.
3. If it is determined to have been improperly executed, or executed under duress, the actions of your brother will be determined to be invalid. That would include signing a listing agreement, and any deed he would be signing to convey the property.
4. Court involvement in upsetting and reversing a home sale would likely be a nightmare. The owner would be furious, the realtor would lose its commission, but even before that, injunctive relief might halt the sale indefinitely.
Get on this one quickly; realtors want their money; if they know there are potential litigation issues involved, they'll either want to rush it through or step back, assess the situation, and cover themselves (CYA mode).
5. Consider hiring an elder law attorney in a mid-sized practice which also has a litigation practice area. Get an appointment ASAP, and raise the issue of injunctive relief to prevent your brother from any further disposition of the assets, pending further legal action. Discuss the issue of suing him for fraud. There may be a criminal issue of larceny by conversion.
6. Your sister Patti's actions to assign her medical POA powers to Leonard isn't valid unless he is specifically named in the Living Will, Medical POA/other document which your mother signed. Patti cannot assign her authority.
7. It seems as though Leonard has also changed the terms of the trust. If you know this, then i assume you know the law firm which did the Restatement of the Living Trust? Contact the attorney who drafted the document and advise him/her of the situation. Add that you're obtaining legal counsel to reverse actions Leonard has taken.
There are attorneys affiliated with this site who actually practice and have offered advice, reliable advice. Contact the Admins through the "contact us" link at the bottom of these pages and ask if one can opine on your situation.
Another question though, how is the nursing home being paid? With funds from mom's account? Was brother the person caring for her before all this occured? Do you think that mom shouldn't be in a nursing home? Are you going to be her caregiver?