Like stages of grief....?
I'm sure some never accept it. What I'm seeing is like Mom is on an emotional roller coaster.
She's wanting to live to, see her grandkids grow up. Then, to see them just one more time. Lately it's, "I just can't take this anymore." Sometimes it's, "I just want to be normal again." The hardest to hear is the, "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up."
This struggle is real. She's looked in my eyes and said, "I'm really dying right?" Other times I get, "I don't want to die."
The beautiful ones are when she's holding my hand and she catches me crying, she'll perk right up and sternly say, "No no I'll bounce back, don't cry, it WILL be ok." (Hey all, meet my Mom!) Yeah, totally Mom mode there.
Just wondering if she'll come to accept she's dying. I guess no one really knows since everyone is different.
I'm so mad, I want to put my head through a wall! I want to curse, scream, cry, throw sh*t, throw up and howl.....yeah I actually want to howl!!!
(Speaking of an emotional roller coaster)
Last year when my mom was very sick and close to dying, and we all thought she was, my mother kept saying my late father came to visit her everyday. One time in particular, she fainted, and I was tending to her at her bed, she came to, and told me.my late father was standing at the foot of her bed. I looked and saw nothing. I told her no one was there. She pointed and insisted that he was there looking at her. Again I said no. Then I saw him, in the mirror, leaving the room through the window of her bedroom. My blood just turned cold.
The next few weeks or months, my mom still saw him, but as she recovered and got stronger, she didn't mention him anymore.
This was the first time I actually saw a spirit. But I have witnessed an injured and bedridden person suddenly got up and walked to chair when a spirit entered her body and took over. The spirit then spoke to us in a different voice. After that the spirit left, she collapsed and had to be carried back to bed.
I also have read books about near death experience, ghosts, and reincarnation. Until I actually experienced it, it was just a belief. I now I know spirits exist.
Our spirits leave the bodies when we die but our souls live on in the spiritual realm. I have no idea how it is on the other side, but I will find out when I get there. It does make me a little less afraid of death. It's not the end, it's a beginning of another existence.
Thank you so much, that puts my mind at ease!!
Umm, maybe someday you might decide to share your experience with me? I have lots of books on NDA's. Even before my Mom got sick ,this was a passion of mine.
If you're comfortable, if not, I understand.💖
Tell your mother she is not dying, she is only going to say Good-Bye until you meet again.
(((HUG)))
Lost, I'm sitting here thinking, how I'd feel in MIL's place. I think I'd be feeling the same way, let's get it over with already. But who really knows, right? Xoxo
Things took a big turn for the worse in the last 2 weeks of her life, and I think she knew, even if she wouldn't admit it. She did the classic end-of-life things, including calling out fot her mother in the middle of the night, talking about seeing a white light, and wanting to go to church to "pray for us all." She was a lapsed Catholic, so this was a surprise in a way.
And as I said earlier, the hits just keep coming.
Thank you for sharing that with me Marylou88....💖
I know EXACTLY what you mean!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this also. There's just something about losing a Mom. Feels like part of ourselves are going too. That's how it feels to me. I'm always here for you too, if you need an ear. 💕
Cmagnum,
Thank you for the reminder, I get so caught up in looking at the situation outside of myself, I forget to look in. I forget to be still and know....💖
I'm sorry you and your mom are going through this now. It's hard.
With my Mom she is mostly just so very very very tired. I am thankful that she has no pain, and she also doesn't seem to have fear. I think the massive fatigue just makes her want it to be over - which is, in a way, a good thing. At least she seems at peace with where this is going.
Sometimes I will ask her if I can get her anything and she will say "do you have a gun?". :(
This is the really hard part for Everyone! My MIL came to our house in the country to live and die here on the farm in the end. She was not here long at all before hospice was brought in. My husband's family helped some, but it came down to she and I mostly at night. She had good faith but near the end, she would panic and worry about going to Heaven, leaving her grown children, unfinished business so to speak. Wanted to see everyone of course. Some days chipper, some sad, mostly all over the place about was Everything Done. She did not have Alzheimer's like my Mom does. She was just 90 and her body was shutting down. I think we all would have all these emotions if we have any mind left and time to contemplate before our ending. I just wanted you to know that I think it's all normal. My Mom is so mixed up and she says she wants to go to sleep and not wake up too sometimes. Other days she says she will snap out of this and get better. You both have all the emotions and stages we all have. And They do waffle back and forth. Sending you lots of love today!
I"ll keep you in my prayers.