My dad keeps asking for things we know he can’t have. How do we keep him from obsessing about these things? I’m his DPOA for health and finance. He can’t have his address/phone books because he calls people with his confabulated stories and they don’t know he has Alzheimer’s. He wants his hassock, but can’t have it because he fell off it while climbing on it to reach the top of his closet at the other facility . (We’ve brought everything down to his reach and gave him our recliner that has a footrest.) He wants his nail clippers even though the memory care facility he is at gives him manicures, pedicures and haircuts. (At the previous facility he was given scissors and he was found cutting up clothes in an attempt to modify his clothing. We bought him new clothes and took away the scissors.) He wants us to take him back to his home and business but he is physically and mentally not able to care for any of it or himself. His sister and brother-in-law bought him lotto tickets over the holidays. He insist they are winning tickets (they are worthless), hides them, can’t find them, then accuses me of stealing all of his money. He’s convinced that I’ve spent all of his money on us. We don’t need his money and would never use it for ourselves. We use his money to pay for his memory care facility he’s at, his personal needs like incontinence supplies, clothing (he’s gained healthy weight and needed all new pants), bills, divorce attorney fees, and accountant fees, etc. It’s been so stressful cleaning up all the messes he’s created over the past few years but we can’t share all the details with him because it creates such anxiety and confusion in him. He can’t rationalize and his demands are taking a toll on me. I’d like to visit with him but it seems that my presence seems to make him think of all the things he can no longer manage. When I don’t visit, because I’m taking care of all of his stuff, his mind works overtime and he calls me accusing me of taking his things. I’ve worked so hard to get him the medical attention, safe living arrangements he so desperately needed and fixing all of the messes he’s created. I’ve always had his best interest at heart and I’ve never ever given him any reason to distrust me. It’s so hurtful. I’ve spoken with the director at his new facility and they are increasing activities and working with him when he wants to call me with demands. His moderate cognitive decline, OCD and anxiety is taking a toll on me. I fear that it’s only going to get worse. Anyone else dealing with this? Suggestions?
They can give you answers other than what your dads' doctors tell you
Mi friend father has done that, what you're saying your father has done.(He is well beside that)but it do happen.But, not with mine. (not at all actually)thank god. As i researched/and know that do happen.
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My father is doing so well (knock-on-wood)praise the Lord, as he is not at the point at all now where he is hallucination going on and or confabulation of stories et.al., and he is doing well, he only take a few extra naps for 1 hr., or few minutes, then he is up and ready to go! We continue keeping him:
-ACTIVE.
-Busy.
-Talk much to him with plentiful smiles/happy memories et.al. as mommie and i,always are at the point of sharing past time great stories with him as he remember almost 100% of his childhood, teen years, early 20s etc. marriage amazing...
We simply continue to instill/make new memories,while also, to treat him the same,just as always as if nothing has circumvented, with the exception of his dementia diagnosis 1 year ago from January 2017. God bless you and us all.adios.