I am at a loss as to what activities my mom can do to keep her occupied. Suggestions?
My mother spent much of her adult life working and having children, I am one of ten. Then when she and my father retired she confiscated my younger sister’s two children and raised them (poorly I might add). Then she confiscated the great grandchild up until we had to remove my mom from her house. She was not happy about it but she has middle stage dementia and she couldn’t live there even with help.
She doesn’t have any hobbies. She used to volunteer at the kids school. She would sit through hours of cartoons on the television each day. Never really had many friends except for her neighbors.
She will sit and look out the window for much of the day (it is a great view of the forest), or stare at the newspaper for hours on end. She does like the Golden Girls and I bought all 7 seasons to play on depend. I will take her for a walk but her knee is in very poor condition so I can’t get her out too often. PLUS, winter is coming and once the snow is on the ground it is going to be very difficult to get her out to do anything.
The senior center here really doesn’t have any activities for people with dementia and the only adult day care that we had in town was 4 hours once a week and apparently that is no longer going on.
I’m trying to find activities that might be of interest to her but I’m striking out. Are we destined to be watching the Golden Girls for hours on end.
I work out of my home so I can sit at the table and keep an eye on her while working but she seems bored. Or am I projecting????
My suggestion is to find him a "job" do you have neighbors who would help you out and "hire" him. You could actually give them the money to pay him with. Simple taskes he could do inside or out side the house. Empty waste baskets, clean the kitty litter, refill the dogs water bowls. Sweep the garden path shovel some snow. Tie up newspapers for recycling. Just anything that he wont make too much of a mess doing. it would give him something to do and get him interacting with other people so he has to make an effort. If you are in a rural area do you have a local store that could "hire" him to break down boxes for recycling. Could he hand out prayer books in church and greet people if you go to church. There are so many little things if you can create a routine to make him feel necessary and productive. because he is still grieving so much trying to find things for him to do at home probably wont work right now but once you get the activities going he maay show more interest. If you have a local hospice they do have grief groups who meet regularily. that might help. You and/or your husband could go with him the first few times. Let us know how you get one. if solutions work for one family it is very helpful to pass on ideas to others facing the same situations.
Hope this helps.
I did stop by the Center on Aging in our town and got a list of respite providers. It is in my pile of things to do. It's been crazy trying to get her to all the doctors appointments and last weekend she was hallucinating so it's been a ride so far.
I would really prefer an adult day care but if respite care in our home is the only option I may go that route and start interviewing people to come by for a few hours each week, for a start.
She does like folding the blankets that we have on the sofa. Our two little Bichons mess them up often and I find her straightening them out. She loves the dogs too and the wildlife that she is able to see out the windows.
She is in the middle stage of Alzheimers. She scored a 19 out of 30 on that scale they use. She seems to be there much of the time and is still capable of showering herself and eating. It's such a strange disease because sometimes she seems there (maybe wishful thinking) and other times she tells the same stories from her early days over and over. So very odd.
Thanks again for all the suggestions. I did buy her a doll and I think she will like that. She has a couple but more for display rather than cuddling.
1) Folding towels; matching and folding socks together; folding shirts and other laundry
2) Putting coins in a piggy bank; sorting coins
3) Purchase a children's xylophone:
And ask her to come up with a tune. And because the xylophone is colorful it
should peak her interest.
4) Get her a realistic looking baby doll and ask her to "babysit" it.
5) Get an old fashion rotary telephone and ask her to dial some phone numbers from the yellow pages. Make sure the telephone is not connected and unplugged. And if she wonders why the phone isn't ringing or no one is answering, well come up with an excuse :-)
6) Organize and or alphabetize canned goods.
7) Clip coupons from the newspapers, whether you use them or not. Use children's scissors to prevent injury.
8) Cut out interesting articles or pictures from newspapers and magazines
9) Organize a messy drawer
10) Water the plants
11) Play yo yo
I know you said you called 3 facilities if they knew of any but did you call your mom's insurance for a list? Does she only have VA and does she also have medicaid as well? When I contacted my grandpa's medicaid, they said they had a list of other adult daycare facilities that he can go to (other areas) in case we don't like the daycare he's currently attending. So we have that option.
thank you for all those suggestions. They were very helpful.
1) Take to the park. Over here, we frequent a park where we are able to feed ducks.
2) Take to the library. Borrow books with lots of pictures like photography, gardens, nature. Also borrow books with lots of color that helps uplifts their spirits. My grandpa who has dementia loves to read newspapers, magazines, and books. Not sure if he remembers what he has read but instead of him idling and staring into space, I give him lots of reading material and that stimulates his mind.
3) Listen to classical music. Known to increase IQ and stimulates the mind as well.
4) Listen to oldies music. Youtube has a lot of it.
5) Borrow travel dvds from the library. Watching different places from the comfort of your home and be an armchair traveler.
6) Take your loved one with you to the grocery store so they can look at different items. Our grocery store that we frequent is Walmart. It will be a field trip for your loved one and you can do your shopping at the same time.
7) Playdoh. They can play with playdoh for hours.
8) Building blocks.
9) Crayons and big coloring books as the other poster suggested
10) Visit a pet store where they can play with pets if you do not have any pets at home.
11) Visit a nursing home where they can interact with the other residents or try to. They would be like a volunteer.
@caregiver, I wish there were towns close to us that had them. The "big" town here is 20 minutes away and I am still looking for adult daycare. I believe that one of the assisted living facilities that I looked at has day care. I will be contacting them again to get more details. I think it is important to get her used to going to a facility for activities for when the time comes that she needs to go to one.
@Veronica and @Jeanne, it was funny. I went to the Alzstore site and looked at the dolls. I said "mom look at these baby dolls", she could not get out of her seat fast enough. She threw the paper on the ground and was trying to run around the table. I said, "hold on I'll bring the computer to you". She loved them. She picked one out and I ordered one. Yes, they are expensive but she got so excited, that I did too. I could probably have found something cheaper at Walmart but I'm sure the dolls on the ALZ site are probably more durable to deal with memory impaired individuals. I will let you know how that works out.
@Veronic91, that is a great idea. I think my mom would feel it is too childish at this point but I am definitely going to keep that in mind for later on. She has attached herself to a gingerbread man toy that my dogs have. I put a teddy bear in her bedroom but she hasn't given it any notice as of yet. She collected dolls in her hoarding. She has hundreds of them. Many are packed away. I did keep several out of storage for her to have in her room but they don't interest her yet. It was a fantastic idea!
@Jeannegibbs, great input. We used to have bird feeders but my two dogs get so excited over the squirrels that come to them that we had to take them down. We have been feeding a herd of deer that come daily (8) and she likes seeing them. She used to watch the golfers go by but now the course is closed and the deer will soon disappear with the snows arrival. Maybe snow shoers on the course will keep her interested. You have had some excellent suggestions. I tried puzzles but she was never one to do them.
I'm going to check out that Alzheimers store too. Good suggestions.
I think the doll is going to be a great route to go later on.
Thank you all. I am enjoying the insights and help that I have found here. Even if I only lurk at times.
With dementia, though, it is sometimes hard to know whether some additional stimulation would be good, or following the same (to us, boring) routine is most calming. Try various things, but don't be dismayed if she likes the same things repeated over and over.
Staring out the window at the forest seems pleasant. Maybe you could enhance it by placing bird feeders outside that window, as many care centers do. And provide a sound track. I bought a variety of CDs of music from the era when my loved one was a teen and young adult (on Amazon, not very expensive) and that seemed pleasant to him.
Nothing wrong with watching Golden Girls over and over. Tapes or disks are often easier to follow, without the commercial interruptions. If there are other shows your mother enjoyed, getting sets of them would provide a little variety (which might be more important to you than to her). We watched the complete Sherlock Holmes series together, and he watched MASH, Dragnet, and Northern Exposure.
My mother is with me one weekend a month. We have the Game Show Network on almost continuously. There is no "plot" to follow, and each game or event is good for a fairly short attention span. Mom finds commercials often funny, and they are not too disruptive of the game shows. She also liked baseball in season.
Whatever your mother likes on television or DVDs or tapes is a good way to keep her occupied, in my opinion. The time may come when that is too complex for her.
Both my husband and my mother enjoyed/enjoy folding hand towels. (We use washclothes as single use washable hand towels.) I own these in a full spectrum of colors, and lots of different textures, so they appeal to more than one sense. Probably the biggest appeal is that we actually use these everyday, and getting them folded and into pretty baskets is obviously contributing to the household -- it is not "make-work."
My mom also loves matching up socks.
I like Veronica91's idea about a baby doll, depending on where Mom is on the dementia journey. If she rejects it as childish it is too soon, but you could simply put it away and try again as the disease progresses. One place to get a very realistic (but expensive) baby doll is the Alzheimer's Store. In fact the catalog from that store is a source of ideas for activities.
Both my husband and my mother (different ages and different types of dementia) enjoyed looking at family photo albums, and sometimes sharing them with visitors.
You are thoughtful to try to provide enjoyable experiences for your mother. I hope you pick up an idea or two to add some variety.