5 months now.

Hugs, I lost Mom at the end of April. It is hard. Do you have someone who can help you clear things out?

So sorry for your loss and the difficulties you're feeling at this stage...it's a lot. My dad died in February, so I'm right behind you time-wise. I'll echo the great suggestions made here from my experience - they've all helped me. GriefShare/support group and later, weekly 1:1 convos with a terrific grief counselor for about six weeks. Talking to my dad and/or writing to him, sharing how I feel and what's been going on. Accepting help from treasured friends at different intervals; one came within two weeks and helped me with the most immediate sorting and donating I wanted to do. Others have been and still are amazing sounding boards. I've also found that it's been super important to attend to my sleep, nutrition, hydration, and some level of exercise, plus regular massages and singing in church. Yes, really. It all helps to move stuck energy in the body, which also helps surface and release emotions. So. Many. Tears. in these five months and counting, and that's okay.

Last thing (for now) I'll share that has really helped me, which is maintaining connection to my dad (as well as my mom given she died 16 years ago) in both meaningful and practical ways. I have some of his things in my home and I love using them. I let lots of other things go but was intentional about where/how I let them go. I kept some other things that are more for sentimental reasons, and that's okay. I may or may not feel like I need to keep it all forever, but if it helps me feel better and connected now, so be it. I figure nobody else needs to approve or understand that but me. I'm an only kid and currently single, so it's up to me. I'm also the one now carrying forward the story of our family.

As a person of faith, I try to remember every day that by living my life now in the very best way I can, I'm honoring myself and honoring God as well as my parents, all of whom gave me life so I could live it abundantly. I believe my parents know just how hard it is for me here without them and they still look out for me. I also believe they are somewhere cheering me on every day that I get up, do my best, and pursue my own dreams. After all, if I don't, then what has it all been for? :-)

Loosing someone you love will hurt for along time. No getting around it.

I lost my Mom in 2000, my beloved husband in 2001, my older sister and mentor in 2006, my best GF of 32 years in 2012, The ones I was closest to and loved the most. I hate to sound like a cliche too, but it takes time...to stop feeling such sadness and sorrow, to get through the pain and grief.

I stayed busy organizing things they gave me. I would wander stores at night for hours, just to get out of the house. I'd talk out loud to them all the time when I was alone. It was a tedious process, but I made sure their nice items were given to battered women's shelters, so ladies trying to survive and get jobs had decent clothes to wear. That way their legacies would still be out there somewhere, helping out other women who had nothing. I knew they'd like that idea.

I gathered photos and made photo albums about their lives. I saved their history in different ways, I guess it was "constructive grieving." All these years later, I still cry when something reminds me about them...but I'm not a walking zombie like I was. I shared some part of them with those who had nothing. Of course I kept my favorite things carefully packaged at home.

In due time, I realized how lucky and privileged I was to have had such great relationships with such special people. That is the joy of life. I learned so much from them, we had great times, sad times, memories and fun together. Most people never even know what that is like to have great relationships. I had toxic people in my life too, but don't dwell on them.

When I start feeling sorry for myself, I tell myself how incredibly lucky I was to have them in my life, and remember how much they all wanted to live. I slowly started to realize my self-pity was an insult to them, if I'm alive and not making every day count. It takes time to get to that point.

You clearly loved your Mom, took care of her until the end, and did your best, so always be proud of that. You did the right thing...no matter how hard it was. Nobody can take that away from you.

Hugs to you. I hope that you will one day find your joy. It's so hard. There's no way to describe trying to reown yourself. I wish you well and hope in the future.

I hope you are ALSO remembering to celebrate her life. You are early stages still of mourning and I think you are asking a lot of yourself to be well on your way. You are fine. Do it in your own time. BUT remember to celebrate her, talk to her, write to her, make a journal and send her letters about what you see, hear that makes you think of her, about your regrets, about what you learned and celebrate.

Our brains learn habitual pathways very quickly and we are ALL more OCD than we would like to think. So it is important to give your brain new things, hobbies, people, places, exercises, and etc to stimulate it to get off the dark path through the same old woods.

As to the clothing, simply close the door on it for a while. She can't take it with her and you can't take it with you either. But it takes time to let go.

I lost my mother a month ago so I understand what you’re going through. Be easy on yourself and take each day as it comes without judgement; without putting pressure on yourself to be or feel differently than you do in that moment. People who haven’t experienced deep grief often think that grief gets smaller over time but it doesn’t. It stays the same and we build our life around it. Our “new” life without our person. That’s how we’re able to cope but it’s always with us. So take all the time you need to get through this as well as you can, always being kind to yourself and never denying your true feelings. I wish you peace as you take this journey.

Five months may be too early for you. I lost my Mom to Dementia long before she passed at 89. I had already been cleaning out her house when she was in AL and LTC. She had nothing of value. I had two siblings. I took a room at a time. I took albums apart and split pictures between me and my brothers. Each of us had a box and as I found things left behind by them, I thru them in the box. You just have to harden yourself to the fact it has to be done. I only took a few things, as did my SIL and the rest was given to thrift shops and clothing boxes. Furniture went to Habitat for Humanity.

Once you get started you will be able to continue.

Elvisman, when my dad was in the hospital, he had a heart attack, they brought him back.

The nurses took us aside, and told us when Dad came back he yelled at them.

He said to them "WHAT Did You Do That For" totally something my dad would say and totally they way he said it. Completely his words.

So he new he died, he new they brought him back, and he liked where ever he was. My dad was mean and miserable, he found a place that he found peace.

Sence then I have so much more of a peaceful acceptance of death. A definite sadness but a much better acceptance.

Everything your feeling is normal, if there is a normal to the grieving process.

You should try a grieving support group. And I know this is cliche also. But it takes time. Just be kind to yourself and give it time. It will always hurt a little, and a piece of your heart will always be missing, but you learn to put you pain in a box, so to say and open the box when you need to. And you will need to less and less. 5 months is not long really at all.

We are always here to chat with

Your grief is still fairly new, and there is no timetable to move on. Everyone is different, so be kind to yourself.
Eventually you will be able to part with some of her things as what better way to honor your mom than to share some of her things with perhaps those you are in need. You can of course hang on to a few of what you may consider more special things and the rest you can take pictures of if you feel the need to remember them.
And you're right, your mom would not want you continually grieving her, as she would rather you eventually move forward and live and enjoy your life.
But again, you're still very early in the grieving process, so just go with it when it hits you.
Grief is something we all must go through. It's not a place to stay, but to go through. And that often takes time.
May God bless you and keep you as you walk this difficult journey of grief.

I don't think it's a worn out cliche that your mom's soul is in a better place now. Pick up a copy of the book Proof of Heaven: A Neuro Surgeon's Journey Into the Afterlife, by Eben Alexander.

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Thousands of people have had near-death experiences, but scientists have argued that they are impossible. Dr. Eben Alexander was one of those scientists. A highly trained neurosurgeon, Alexander knew that NDEs feel real, but are simply fantasies produced by brains under extreme stress.

Then, Dr. Alexander’s own brain was attacked by a rare illness. The part of the brain that controls thought and emotion—and in essence makes us human—shut down completely. For seven days he lay in a coma. Then, as his doctors considered stopping treatment, Alexander’s eyes popped open. He had come back.

Alexander’s recovery is a medical miracle. But the real miracle of his story lies elsewhere. While his body lay in coma, Alexander journeyed beyond this world and encountered an angelic being who guided him into the deepest realms of super-physical existence. There he met, and spoke with, the Divine source of the universe itself.

Alexander’s story is not a fantasy. Before he underwent his journey, he could not reconcile his knowledge of neuroscience with any belief in heaven, God, or the soul. Today Alexander is a doctor who believes that true health can be achieved only when we realize that God and the soul are real and that death is not the end of personal existence but only a transition.

This story would be remarkable no matter who it happened to. That it happened to Dr. Alexander makes it revolutionary. No scientist or person of faith will be able to ignore it. Reading it will change your life.

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To Heaven and Back: A Doctor's Extraordinary Account of Her Death, Heaven, Angels, and Life Again: A True Story, by Mary C. Neal M.D. is another amazing book.

A kayak accident during a South American adventure takes one woman to heaven — where she experienced God’s peace, joy, and angels — and back to life again.

In 1999 in the Los Rios region of southern Chile, orthopedic surgeon, devoted wife, and loving mother Dr. Mary Neal drowned in a kayak accident. While cascading down a waterfall, her kayak became pinned at the bottom and she was immediately and completely submerged. Despite the rescue efforts of her companions, Mary was underwater for too long, and as a result, died.

To Heaven and Back is Mary’s remarkable story of her life’s spiritual journey and what happened as she moved from life to death to eternal life, and back again. Detailing her feelings and surroundings in heaven, her communication with angels, and her deep sense of sadness when she realized it wasn’t her time, Mary shares the captivating experience of her modern-day miracle.

Mary’s life has been forever changed by her newfound understanding of her purpose on earth, her awareness of God, her closer relationship with Jesus, and her personal spiritual journey suddenly enhanced by a first-hand experience in heaven. To Heaven and Back will reacquaint you with the hope, wonder, and promise of heaven, while enriching your own faith and walk with God.

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Pick up a copy of these books on Amazon. Why not? Taking the fear and mystery out of death makes life that much sweeter, and makes grief that much more bearable, knowing we'll see our loved ones again!

My condolences on the loss of your dear mom.