Just because she can't remember her kids' names, they think she is a risk. I am with her almost every day and do not see her dementia as that bad. I'm not saying she doesn't need care, just not in a prison-like setting. I guess the next thing I can try is a lawyer. Thanks for all the input I received.
Are there activities? Can you bring her animals to see her?
Have you considered asking for permission to speak with her doctor about how far her dementia has progressed and if her current setting is meeting her needs?
I think that there is a latency in people that they won't see cognitive loss in their closely aged loved ones because then they might start to question what they have lost, as well.
What I said stands. You don't know the whole story, you are interfering, and you're making it harder for your sister than it needs to be.
I get it -- it's terrible to accept, but you aren't the decision maker here. Why do you want to risk getting knocked off the visitors list by upsetting her, too?
I would venture to say that those who are closest to someone often have the most blindness as to the severity of their situation. I don't think my dad ever realized my mother had dementia. She was just forgetful and slept a lot, but she was four years into it when he died and I had to put her in a Memory Care. She did a lot better there, too, than she did at home, because my dad wasn't doing everything for her and most important, he was not there to cover for her memory issues.
Have you perhaps been covering for your sister, too, whether you realized it or not?