Thank you for everyone that responded to my question about what stage my mom might be in.
I’d like to clarify that I was asking so I can hopefully continue to stay prepared as my life as the only one left in my family I’m doing this solo. Saying and asking why does it matter I find a little hurtful. I’m looking for support snd not judgement as I feel this message board is for. For everyone and their kinds words thank you so very much
It is a very clear list with distict stages BUT it cannot predict how long a person will stay in a stage.
Eg In my circle, one went from
2. Fit to 4. Vulnerable quite fast with a Ca dx. Another has taken years to move slowly from 5. Mildly Frail to 6. Modertely Frail.
Another has been been stable at 7. Severley Frail for many years.
I'll try to add a link:
https://www.physio-pedia.com/Clinical_Frailty_Scale
Stages (if there are any) overlap. For instance, in Stage 7, the final stage, it is described that the person's ability to speak will diminish and eventually stop. They'll be unable to walk. The body will start to shut down. However, my friend's husband has aphasia from his dementia and cannot speak at all. Yet he walks a track for exercise, enjoys adult daycare, and is only occasionally incontinent. Is he Stage 7? Not really. I could cite other examples but have run out of time.
There is a lot of help on this site, and I hope you stick around. You'll learn a lot. (Which is a good idea, because a lot that is published about caregiving a person with dementia is nonsense. Here you get info from people who actually experience it rather than those who are trying to push an agenda and know nothing about it.)
To be honest you cannot count on stages. I just finished a book by a husband who cared for his wife for 8 years. Often he would say "she is at stage 7a and.............." then would tell what that consisted of. And it was awful. Pooping in the shower and everywhere else, lashing out often at caregivers, unaware of who he was, unable to leave her for a second, finding her standing with her coat on looking so pathetically confused. And I kept thinking what does that 7a matter. I have been this journey with him and wonder why these letters and numbers are here.
Now you have told me that a number given to you might give you some idea how long.
I am glad I know the reason
Because now I can tell you that you will never know how long. Never. You cannot predict it. It is different for each patient. The stages don't occur with regular movement but randomly and chaotically, and in the middle of each stage there are other things happening health wise that have repercussions.
I think better than letting your life rest in the hands of a chaotic disease, KittyKat you should take control of your own life. This disease will not give you a CLUE of what to expect no matter how many labels and numbers you slap on it.
So my advice would be that it is up to you to decide how much longer you personally can go on providing 24/7 in home care to someone with this illness.
You have my best wishes, but the choices are in your hands. There is no road map, there is no guarantee of time, there is no certainty or even clues. There is only how long can you go on doing this care. You as an adult are responsible for that decision for your own life.
Good luck to you. I trust you to make these decisions for yourself. But don't count on any magical thinking or predictions. You might as well have someone read your Tarot. It will be just as useful.