I talked with a professional in eldercare, as some of you recommended. It gave me a new perspective. I learned this is a life-changing situation for me and it is extremely sad. I wasn't aware that my thinking is askew. There is a marked psychological change that is causing me to feel and think very different than anytime in my life. My father is slowing going away and I'm reacting to this profound loss. I was told to acknowledge to my brother all he has done but stay away face to face until my father is situated in assisted living.
I am sharing this with the hope that it may help someone else in a similar situation. The internet is a powerful means of communication, which can be used for good or bad. I will always chose good, even though I will admit I got whimsical at times. What I will ask is that anyone who reads this to consider that abuse, in any form, must be eliminated from this world - between individuals, groups of individuals, and governments, Particularly governments. A loving, happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous world can be created if we eliminate abuse, protect unalienable rights and share good information with out neighbors everywhere. Please do your small part to create this wonderful culture.
Thank you everyone who replied, I would like to share one thing that I discovered that may be of interest to some people - going for a regular, daily walk is so beneficial and can do wonders. It does so much good for the body and mind. The relaxation afterwards is therapeutic and you sleep much better, particularly if you walk for an hour. Not to mention all the documented benefits you don't see! You don't need an investment but I do recommend quality newer shoes meant for walking, and only walking, for the best experience. Do some research. Online you can get some terrific bargains from trusted stores that will pay for themselves many times over.
Good Luck and God bless
I am glad that you are enjoying your walks.
I use to be a cyclist 🚴♀️ for many years, until I had a bad accident. Now I do a stationary bike.
I enjoy walking also.
Your walking habit is an excellent one. One foot step at a time. One day at a time.
Keep walking on.
I hope things work out regarding your family relationships with dad, brother and sister in law.
Wishing you and your family all the best. Find peace. You deserve it.