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Do the folks who are listening to these accusations not consider that the source is a demented and damaged brain?
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Just found out the other day while visiting my MIL at her Asst Living Facility that she's telling everyone that her husband passed away many years ago, after their daughter was born. My FIL just passed last year. Another statement she's making is that she had 10 children. Clueless on why she thinks this because she has only 4. It's sad to hear these stories because the reality is that she's getting worse. She is however very happy living at this facilty. Matter of fact, during our visits she walks away from us without saying anything to go get her girlfriend for their ice cream social. LOL!!
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i understand the feeling.....I'm living with my grandmother and I deal with the everyday stories she tells that didn't happen....For instance I woke up this morning and she told me how she was up with my 8 month old for a few hours last night and couldn't get me awake .... she said my baby was screaming from the top of her lungs but in reality she wasn't awake at all.... my child sleeps in the same room as me.... I have 6 kids so I'm a pro at getting up in the middle of the night.... my uncle lives here also and he pulled me off to the side and said that nobody was crying and granny was in bed. I wake up sad everyday because it hurts to see her like this. She's very different compared to when I was a kid.... When she went to bed tonight she sai "Alicia if I happen to die please tell all my grand baby's how much granny loved them" 😢. I love her soo much
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oh yes! we use to think my mom was a compulsive liar...it was, unfortunately dementia....She always had a good imagination, but we discovered it's delusions...and she really does believe them...been doing that for years and years...she's 86 now with severe dementia, which she kept hidden well until 6 months ago.
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my mum is worried all the time about people coming in her house trying to make her go to work, stealing stuff. She can repeat conversations but none of it is real. I tell her its her mind making tricks but she doesnt believe me and i can see its hard for her not to be believed but I cant "play along" with negative things that are upsetting her.
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I think that, what happens is, they dream something, (whether good or bad), and when they wake up, they are confused and can not tell the difference between a dream and reality, so they stick to the belief as if it did happen. Like "Pickle15" said that her mother accused "someone very close to her of an indecent act". Most likely, she dreamed it and she's sticking to her story as real, because she's confused. They remember "good enough" to talk about it as if it were real. I wish I could figure out how to make them snap out of it . . .

That has happened with my mother . . . She tells me some disconcerting story and I'm like, "how the hell do you come up with those things!?" She'd be like, "I don't know . . . but it's true".

My brain is getting used to just listening and saying, "oh mama, there you go again", nod my head and keep listening . . . sort of like, selective attention.
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My mum sometimes wont eat because she thinks she's being poisoned by my brother. She is constantly worried about the people that come in and take or hide her things and keep her awake talking all night. She is clearing her rooms out for some building work to be done to "tidy up the shape of the room" i could go on and on. She is more emotionally invested in this parallel life than in reality. I don't have any answers but you are not alone.
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My mother recently told me my father was unfaithful and I have a half brother somewhere. She has some details, but anything that might track this person down is unclear. I have no idea if she’s telling something she believes happened and it didn’t, or something that actually happened. It is very frustrating, but I listen and try to seem sympathetic.
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My 100 yr old mother in law is making up stories about how my two grandchildren (ages 15 and 11) are really my illegitimate children. In our nightly phone call she will ask if they are home. I will say they don't live here, they live with their parents. We told her they are not our children, they are our grandchildren. She says no, they are yours. She will tell me that we are awful parents for not watching where they are and letting them out on their own as young as they are. Then she will go into "you are going against the Bible". She will ask my husband if he's ok with what I have done. He will tell her that I have been a perfect wife, that I haven't done anything like what she's accusing me of.and that she's being very hurtful to me. She will say she knows it's true and the whole family has always known that I was "that way". At first I was absolutely heart-broken that she thought so little of me to say awful things. Now I do realize it's the dementia doing this but it still doesn't make it easier to take because she brings it up EVERY DAY. She is now on a new loop saying that one of her great-grandchildren (age 11) is wanted by the police and she knows he's hiding in the basement with a woman. There is no basement at the Assisted Living facility. She does not know the time, whether it is morning or night. She says people are stealing her diapers, using her toothpaste, eating her candy, stealing food out of her refrigerator. All of this has seemed to come about quite suddenly. Is there a progression of dementia, what comes next??
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There is something in dementia called confabulation. That may be what is going on. I deal with it quite often in 93 year old mother.
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My Mom is 82, soon to be 83, and is doing the same, but I know she believes what she us saying. At first, I would defend her and believed what she stared, but now, I ask, before jumping to conclusions. I do believe that part of this could due to attempting to gain some control. She has been in Assisted living for about 3 weeks and it has been an adventure. Most of the time, I can determine whether it's a story or truth, but there are still times, that I'm just not sure.

My Mom tells stories about incredible, yet believable things, with so much detail and excitment.
She told me about seeing a squirrel in the doorway. He was fluffing his fur of brown, gray and black, with small areas of white, shaking his tail and looking at me with his glassy eyes. Then he cleans himself, while continuing fluff and shake his fur to fullness.
She is so detailed about each element in her stories. Has anybody experienced this?
Thank you....
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I believe that! My mil is 83 yrs old and has Dementia. She tells a lot of lies. She is very aggressive. I have only one thought on my daily mind, her. People will say I am mean. How can I be, I have epilepsy myself nd I Have to take care of her. People have to remember not to believe what they say, it is not them it is there mind. I will make it easier to understand, which would you prefer? A steak or meat loaf. A caregiver suffers a lot. When the other siblings prefer not to get involved Nd tell you how to care for that person, they know nada!
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My mom is now in long term care, but it’s been a process to get her there. It’s taken about a year.
She tells fantastic stories, and they sound so believeable, but they just can’t be true. Her stories usually include the staff in her facility, and I think she’s getting paranoid.
I’m the only one of three siblings living in the same city as our parents, so their care falls to me. I keep in touch with my siblings via group conversations by text to keep them updated on our parents lives and health ( dad is 94, mom is 85) Recently I had to cut off all communication with one sibling who talks to my mother by phone and hasn’t actually seen her for over 18 months. I had related some things that the care staff had told me regarding my mother and my father, who visits her in the facility daily. My sibling told my mother what I’d said - of course my mother denied the stories (but did admit she didn’t remember doing it but might have). So I was accused of lying and spreading hateful gems of gossip.....
This is so hard to watch them decline and try to sift through what might be real and what isn’t.
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Yes my mom is in her final stages and she always say she going home I always laugh and say mom you are home then she always laugh back and say oh I knew that.of shes leaving in her car but she never been able to drive. I just tell her I'm going with her. Hope this was helpful
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My mother is 85 and has had dementia for several years now but she has just now started making up lies that she believes and is getting very mean and aggressive. I live with her and she accuses me of stealing her money and tells me I have to move even when my other siblings tell her it's not true. I understand it's the disease what I don't understand is how it's making me feel towards her. I love my mother and have always felt like she is a saint on earth but since she has started saying these things about me I'm having feelings that I don't want to have towards her but I don't know how to control it. Can anyone offer me advice please.
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Jenux1964: I am in same situation as you are. My 90 year old mom’s “stories” are getting more and more preposterous. She truly is delusional about so many things yet she is very articulate and very believable because as preposterous as they are, she sounds very logical. And there is absolutely no way you can correct her, explain to her or PROVE to her that what she is saying is not true. She is right 100% of the time and will not even concede the slightest. Sometimes it’s of no consequence such as the neighbors house got painted (it didn’t) or the caregivers drink up all her Ensure (they don’t!) but other times it’s hurtful like when I am the only person who sees her 4 or 5 days a week and does EVERYTHING for her then she tells others that I hardly ever visit and I come in and mess things up or take her stuff. All I can say is I’ve had to toughen up, pray for patience and learn to lovingly and respectfully set boundaries. There are times when I just have to say, “Okay Mom. I am going to leave now because it makes me sad and upset that you are saying these things about me that are untrue. I love you and I’ll talk to you later.”
i just cannot be abused. Typically she has forgotten what she said earlier and I just drop it. Other times it has gone on for a while. It’s just a challenge to say the least. Attending a dementia support group and doing a lot of reading has helped some too. Hang in there...we don’t have a choice to do otherwise!
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My mother in law does the same she will tell stories about her kids, grandkids and great grandchildren that are not true and I know they aren't, at first I corrected her but she gets mad so now I just let her talk I care for her 3, 4, 5 and sometimes 6 and 7 days a week
She talks non stop the whole time I'm here
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My mother in law refuses to go to a doctor so she has not been diagnosed with dementia or alzheimers but I have been reading on Google and I have found out something's very helpful.
She tells us she's given up she don't wanna live anymore and she can tell that it's getting close
She suffers from Arthritis too, refuses any medication
She refuses to go to the doctor
She screams, yells and cries just about all night long then wants to sleep bout all day long that's called sundowners and it's a symptom of dementia
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This is typical. We had my husbands mom here for a few days and I bought all her favorite foods. She ate everything we offered her. When we took her back home she told a neighbor that she hadn’t eaten in days and we made her sleep on the floor 🤣🤣🤣. You just have to see the humor in it. At one point she called the police because my husband had stolen her car- he had not ,we live hours away. She called the post office to complain that the letter carrier was a “ whore” and sleeping we her husband and stealing her mail. Just be grateful you are getting G rated stories. You can not believe the stories we’ve heard!
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