I believe the time has come where I will have to quit my job in order to care for my mom. I no longer have help to care for her. Im a mother of 3 and can not financially afford to quit my job. She was in a nursing home before coming to live we me but she was neglected and i refuse to let her go back to one. Is there any financial help for caregivers?
One shouldn't have to bankrupt oneself and end up in the streets but at the same time in the U>S we tend to put our jobs very high on list of what is important, we take little vacation, see who we are as related to our occupations etc. In other countries family comes first. Yet at the same time how can you take care of your family if you lose your sole means OF support?
I hope you are able to do what is best for both of you.
How old are your children?
How many hours a day or days did you have to leave your children alone?
Were they able to graduate from high school and go to college?
What transferable skills or education do you have that might fit into a job now done online?
What is your relationship with your children like and how do they view your martyrdom?
While it is commendable that you are taking good care of your mother, do you think she wanted you to sacrifince all that you have?
I gather you either live in a house that you own, rent or have an appartment. If you own your own home, how are you going to keep property tax and other things paid for without a job once you move in with your mother?
I'm sorry but I don't share your point of view and find such a decission in today's economy and housing market to be unwise, but you have made your own choices and I wish you well.
#1 you will have to use your Heat and/or air conditioning daily which is very expensive!!
#2 You will have no money coming in at all
#3 You will be so stressed out it can make you volnerable to illness.
If Mom has no money apply for medicaid, you will get it and get 4 hours daily and probably 6-7 hours saturdays and sundays. If Mom has money, use it for her care. Daycare is a godsend! If Mom goes to a medical daycare and her husband was ever in he service, you can get the Aide and Attendant program funds , its a lot of paperwork but worth it. Good luck
Your kids are the squeakiest wheels and should get most of the oil. Until you get some financial assistance for caregivers (see one of my wall postings), ask your siblings for assistance in re-housing your mom, and (unless you are a widow) insist your husband or ex steps up to the plate and owns up to his share of the responsibility as far as the children are concerned.
Do not quit your job, as you'll be adding your name to the homeless slate. Remember: your children are non-negotiable. Good luck.
-- ED
Ditto!
It *is* a very complicated decision, made more complex by the fact that very few seniors want to move out of their homes. And continuing care retirement communities operate on a number of different models: some require very steep upfront payments, which may or may not be partially refunded later, but some charge month to month.
So let me take this opportunity to sing the praises of a fairly new type of professional called the geriatric care manager. The national organization website (www.caremanager.org) has a locator to help you find a GCM near you.
These are usually social workers with additional training who are familiar with the eldercare services and options in your area, can assess your relative's situation and level of functioning, and accompany you through this long and sometimes fraught process.
If you can afford the hourly rate -- not cheap at $125 to $175 an hour depending on your location -- they can be godsends. And in my experience, sometimes outsiders with credentials can move the discussion and the decisions along in ways that are difficult for family members themselves.
Moreover, when tensions arise, many GCMs are licensed clinical social workers who can also serve as sounding boards/therapists/negotiators to lower the temperature and keep everyone on track towards solutions.
hang in there!
How old are your children?
How are you and your family going to live without any income?
How has her being in the nursing home been paid for?
If you could not afford help at home for your mother while you worked, then how are you going to afford to live 24/7 with your mom without work?
Once your mother dies, which will eventually take place, how will you support yourself and will you be able to get a job like you have now?
Have you reported that nursing home to someone? If not, then you are not helping the other people who are in there and their relatives.
Faith or Presumption, that is the question?
Where are you?
Start wit the local hospitals since they have referral services. Social workers, respite care referral, other resources. How bas ius her health?
Aging Care Team???
Are you monitoring us?
I have put my business on hiatus to care for Dad at home. I love him but it's stifling. I don't have kids, but still no personal income. Just his ret & SS.
Somebody needs to help you find help & services so you can care for everyone.
Wishing you the best & hope to hear more ....
Mary AKA Rip
income. No clue where I need to start.