I am 57 and take care of my 91 year old mother. She is legally blind, has dementia and has broken both her hips and wrist. I find myself wishing myself away. I am depressed, and sometimes frustrated. I wake up get her dressed, feed, and washed and off to a senior day care so I can get to work. I had to cut my hours at work to accommodate the hours at the day care. Then home to change her clothes, feed her, and get her to bed. As like the others on my days off is caring for Mom, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping. To shop I have to get up early on my day off to complete before she wakes. My family members are very little help. They are either working or have their own plans. I feel extremely guilty writing this. I love my Mom, but feel I am spent. I pray everyday for the mental strength I need just to meet the next day. I have no time for my husband and we have only been married 7 years. My mother moved in shortly after we were married. My mother is planning to make it to her 100th birthday. I do not believe I will make it that long. Again as I stated earlier I find myself wishing myself away(nice way to state). I have not time for my grandchildren. I have been waiting a long time for my daughter to have children. She is 37. Now, I do not see them anyway. Not sure how to deal, but I keep praying for the strength.
What if Mom were in a quality long term care facility? You might stop by 3 days a week to have breakfast with her on your way to work. Maybe Saturday afternoons you could spend reading to her, or rubbing her back, or just hanging out for a couple of hours. And one night a week go in to tuck her in bed and tell her you love her. If you don't have to do the bathing and the dressing and the changing and the feeding day in and day out, perhaps the quality of your relationship could actually deepen. And you could use some of that time to reconnect with your husband and daughter and to enjoy and nurture your grandchildren.
You need to take practical steps to lighten your burden. And you may also benefit from some counselling. Not because there is something "wrong" with you that needs to be fixed, but that you are in an extremely difficult situation and deserve support from any source available.
Good luck to you. And come back and tell us how this is going.