Mom has been declining over the past few weeks and yesterday stopped eating and drinking. Thanks to this forum I was ready for this. I had read here that if you can see a decline from one month to the next, there’s probably months left. A decline from week to week means there’s probably only weeks left...day to day probably only days left. And this seems to have held true. Today she’s pretty unresponsive and they put her on oxygen just to even out her breathing. She seems comfortable and I will stay and sing to her and hold her hand. I can’t thank you all enough for the support you’ve given me through this.
She is ready and so am I. Please say a little prayer for my darling Ella that this transition is easy for her.
And bless you all.
Thanks for the update and for sharing your plans. I’m happy you have your DH to share this time with. I love the idea of a picnic. Such a sweet way to mark your mom’s passing.
The grief comes at strange times! Planning at the funeral home... fine. Ordering the the grave markers at the monument place...no problem. Cleaning out her room at the NH...not too bad. Calling the insurance company... basket case sobbing and can’t talk. Weird. However I have found myself smiling when I glance at her picture now, so that’s a good sign.
Yesterday I woke up with this thought in my head. I’m no poet and don’t journal or anything, but I wrote it down. I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but then I thought I’d share it here, as I think you kind people will understand.
The picture came down today
A collage of memories
Of her old friends long gone
Of sunny days at Fair Haven
Of laughter and good times
Of her proud parents always smiling
Of a knight on a brown horse
Of a Mom taking care
Of the one left to pack it carefully away
The picture came down today.
My condolences on the loss of your sweet mother. Thank you for sharing with us her final moments.
May God give you strength through this difficult part of the journey.
I lost my Luz March 21 this year and I can fully understand what you are feeling.
My deepest and sincerest condolences. May God give you the strength for the journey ahead.
I am sorry for your loss 🌹 may The Lord give you and your family grieving mercies.
Once the pain of initial grieving settles down, you will be left with all of the fond memories of happier times with your Mom, and in time, most of the sadness will be slowly wane. You will find your new normal, but it does take time. Allow yourself to grieve, and seek help if you feel you need to, there is no shame in that. For now, take some time to rest and to take care of yourself. Big Hugs, you have been an Amazing Caregiver! Your Mom is in a Beautiful Place!
And you? How are you?
I am glad you had the great support and were able to be there with your mom, to see her out.
Take care of yourself. I like the cremation plans.
Hugs
She didn’t want a funeral or wake as she always believed they were too painful for the remaining family. This was typical since was always concerned about other people, and wanting us to be happy. She wanted to be cremated and “thrown off the bluff” at our favorite old picnic spot on Lake Ontario, so that’s what we’ll do for her. And for me, I will sprinkle some ashes at her Brother’s, Mom’s and Dad’s graves. And that will make me happy. She was my Sunshine.
wish I could bring you some food and drink and music
you are a hero
A coincidence is that another lady down the hall is also on the same path as mom at about the same stage. Her daughter and I are supporting each other and it’s been a blessing to have someone to talk to who’s going through it. Thanks for the prayers...I’m sure this support was the result of one.
Thinking of you and your mom. and hoping this passage goes smoothly for both of you.
My experience with what you're going through is limited. MIL was in-home hospice care. Family had been told her time was soon. I had just finished my "shift" of bedside watch and went to take a quick shower. MIL passed peacefully during those 15 minutes. I hope it goes as well for you. ((((Hugs)))))
May you and your family receive grieving mercies and peace, may you all know that even though you will not have her here, you will one day go to be with her were there is no more sickness, crying or pain.
HUGS! We ask these things in The precious name of Jesus.
God, I ask your compassion for Ella that she find peace in these difficult days.