I am 30 and he mother of two almost three children. I started to care for my father last year. About 15 years ago he was diagnosed with hepatitis c. He decided to get a second opinion. That Dr told my father he had been misdiagnosed that he did not have hepatitis c. 15 years later the hepatitis c he didn't have is rediagnosed. Because of that second opinion my father now has cihrosis of the liver. Which causes him excruciating pain. I quit my job to take care of him. Which made my husband very angry. He wants me to put him in a nursing home but i refuse. I decided to leave my husband over it. My dad has three Dr.s they all say he needs care 24/7. That is why I quit my job. There is a cure for hepatitis c it only takes 24 weeks and he will be cured. The liver damage though will take more time. At least 5 years the hepatitis c Dr says.
My father has to have fluid drained off of him twice a month. Is there any way i could have my dad take the second Dr to court because if he had never been misdiagnosed he would have never had the liver failure and would not be in so much pain.
1st question..... I am pregnant because i recently tried to reconcile with my ex. I wanted to give him another chance. I do love him he is my children's father. He had a job when he moved back in but quit it before he was home a week. Less than two weeks after we got back together he was on his xbox from the time he got up (about 2) Until almost dawn. He would get mad at me if i asked him to watch the kids even if it was only to go to the store. I was on birth control but apparently it failed.
2nd question.... My dad is very aware of how contagious his blood is. He keeps his bedroom door closed. The kids don't go in. If he does get a cut i have gloves and lots of antiseptic sprays to clean it up. My dad is very careful. If he gets a scrape he rings the bell and i send the kids outside or to their rooms and i go clean him up. I am very careful. He has a wonderful specialist now that has trained me on how to take care of a wound the right way. We also know that accidents can happen so I also get tested every six months just in case.
Somehow I figured that there might be more behind your marital woes, but your own words said that was it.
Your husband wouldn't care for your children while you worked. Hiss and boo! Bad decision! But, was he actively looking for work? Did he need to be available for interviews? Was he out pounding the pavement looking for work? Or is he just a lazy bum? Or does he feel inadequate to take care of young children? If that is the reason you left him (does that mean you kicked him out of your father's house, where you were living? Or is that when you moved into your father's house?) why are you blaming it on taking care of your Dad?
This is just too confusing. But I guess it doesn't matter. You were only asking for our advice on a law suit. A legal consultation would probably be no-cost, and a lawyer would only take the case if he or she thought there was a good chance of winning, since payment is usually a portion of the award. So, see a lawyer.
I believe you need to think long and deep about why you feel compelled to make choices that fracture your family this way. Does your father, or his current state of helplessness, hold some powerful hold over you? Are you perhaps trying to win the affection and approval you didn't get from him in younger years? Are you trying to prove something to somebody else in your life by rejecting the option of a nursing home for your father? I hesitate very much to tell another person what's right or wrong for their situation, but you are making some very costly choices here, and you are not the only one who will pay the price. Please think about what you're doing here. Good luck!
Most people if are faced with one doctor telling them they have a certain disease, then go to another doctor who says they don't, will have a 3rd opinion to see if the first opinion or the second opinion was correct or not.
Your Dad had a choice and he decided by his own doing of staying with the doctor that said he didn't have HepC... remember this was 15 years ago, maybe the testing back then wasn't as accurate as it is today.
Sadly because of his choices, and because your Dad choose the path of least resistance [the doctor that told him what he wanted to hear] he put you in the situation of choosing between him and your husband. Thus, you left your husband. Does your Dad own up to his part in this breakup? Any chance of fixing the marriage?
I am hoping everything works out.
The second part of this situation, it seems to me, is that now that the diagnosis has been revisited, your father is getting treatment and needs 24-hour supervision. This will last about a half year, and then there will another 5 years for healing the liver. Will Dad need 24-hour care then, too?
You quit your job, left your husband, and are taking care of your father around the clock. You have 2 children and are pregnant (?). I guess you didn't ask about this part of the situation, but I expect you are going to get advice anyway. I'll start.
It is very understandable that you want to see your father get good care, that you love him, and are willing to sacrifice for him. He has had some raw deals in his life!
But what kind of raw deal are you willing to hand to your children, depriving them of a normal two-parent home? What are you willing to sacrifice of your own future. If you aren't working, and aren't married to someone who is, what is your own retirement going to be like? Should your loyalty to your father outweigh the vows you took to your husband?
If Dad went into a skilled nursing facility of some kind, there would be 3 shifts of workers to care for any need that arose. They would all work their shifts and then go home to the rest of their lives. They would sleep. They would come back refreshed. One person taking all three shifts plus taking care of children (or are you leaving them, too?) can't possibly provide the same level of care that a professional staff can in a setting that is designed to keep patients safe and comfortable. Do you really want your father to have less than the best care possible? What does he think about this? I don't think we are talking the rest of his life, here. Perhaps he'd be there 6 months. The job of visiting and advocating for him and making sure he is getting good care is a great deal to take on, but it is far more feasible to do while also caring for a family than trying to do it all yourself.
After the treatment for hep C, then the situation can be re-evaluated. Does he need a convalescent setting? Continued skilled nursing? Could he return home with some in-home help?
This is a very sad situation. I am sorry you have to deal with it.