I responded to another discussion, then got alot of comments but wasnt sure if they were for me or the other. So I am starting a new one. Sorry Im new to this site. Just wanted to know if anyone else out there has a parent who lives with them that needs 24/7 care. I dont mind doing it. I love my Mom and would do anything for her. But she is getting to the point where she only feels comfortable with me around, cuz I take care of everything for her. I have 3 children and a husband that I need to take care of too. So I am always balancing everything. I already asked this and got alot of good comments. My husband and I and the kids are going away for 2 days and I know she is already worrying about it. My sister will be here to take care of her. I guess right now I am just asking is it normal to have these feelings of guilt leaving her. Sometimes I feel a little resentment too. She has severe emphysema, and a list of other things, and I dont know how much longer she will be here so I am just doing the best I can to take care of her, but at the same time would like to live a normal life with my husband and three boys. I love my Mom.
Thanks for the insight, Yes I do believe our Mothers our different, but I will be getting away for the weekend with the family. Thank God I have sisters that will help. I have read so many comments on here with siblings that are just unbelievable! Makes my problems look like molehills. I wish everyone the best. I am looking forward to my little but much needed break with my family. Take care.
Girl, you have guilt coming at you from everywhere. When I took my mother in for a few years, she made me feel guilty about "leaving her alone" whenever I tried to arrange a weekend getaway. So I kept postponing my trips. If I didn't go to Florida to visit my sons and grandkids as promised or to Louisiana to visit my wife's grave, I felt even guiltier.
One night, after making her one huge mug of hot cocoa with chunks of cheddar cheese on the bottom I called her to the kitchen table. I told her I needed time for myself and that my sisters would be coming by every day to check up on her. She said she wasn't talking to any one of them, so I suggested she invite her novio (boyfriend) to stay with her. He went back to his wife. I suggested she stayed with her friends, but there had been some bochinche (falling out) between them and they weren't talking either. The moment I realized I was being manipulated and pretty much had been taken for granted I told her this wasn't a negotiation. I'm not accusing your mom of anything here, as I'm sure she's very different from mine.
My point? Get away once in a while, but make arrangements with your sister or someone else to ensure your mom is taken care of. After all, your husband and kids need your love too. Have fun.
-- ED
So you and your family go ahead and have a good time. Try to do those get-aways from time to time because they will keep you sane.
Enjoy your trip and bring me a hat:)