So after a very quiet Thanksgiving just my DH, my DS and myself - my DH comments. "you know, it is so nice not having all of the relatives fighting with us about coming to visit them over the holidays" and I just realized why I'm not a stressed out, crabby, insane woman at this point that wants to run away to Belize. My Mom (3 hours away), My In laws (across the country) and not trying to schedule our time for us, trying to guilt trip or manipulate us (only three days? we thought you would stay a week, after all we HARDLY see you...), set expectations that we cannot nor do we want to meet.
Instead - we have been having very pleasant and low key phone calls.
What are you grateful for?
And yes this is tongue in cheek. I am grieving the loss of some friends and family to COVID. I've had COVID. I'm not trying to be insensitive.
"Maybe the 'gift' of the virus can be acknowledgement of an awakening and give you the opportunity to create new behaviors around the stress of the holidays in the future. I think one of the greatest sadnesses in human behavior is when others guilt you into doing what you know is not in your best interest. You are not responsible for the happiness of others. Look at the underlying reasons why you felt such great relief in not participating this year, and why. Learn to say no in a kind and firm way. This has been a huge teaching moment if you can see it. Life didn’t come to a screeching halt when the usual family gatherings didn’t happen."
I know so many people who get so caught up in holidays. They complain, but still continue to do every. little. thing. that their families expect. I refused to go along with that years ago (we do not travel to NYS to visit in-laws for holidays). Our holidays are already streamlined and simple.
I am a homebody, too, and am glad I didn't have to do lots of things since March (including going to two weddings in NYS).
As the oldest child, I was raised to be the responsible rescuer for the rest of my family. Now I physically can't get involved and I'm learning to let go of the need to rescue. It's still ingrained in my self-identity but I can see it now and can fight it.