My poor mom ...somedays she is barley hanging on by a thread, while other days I feel so optimistec about how she is doing, and the possibility of her being around for quite some time. However, I have begun to think about what it is that I am going to do whenever the inevitable comes. It's very difficult to try to think about these things, but I know that it must be done. I've been trying to do this for about 6 months now, and I still have no idea. I have been saving money for over 3 years, but it's amazing how little it has come to. The worst part of it is that I live in California, and owning a home here is damn near impossible.
I'm curious if anyone has had to deal with these thoughts, and how successful, if at all they were. I'm just trying to prepare for the worst and exactly where I'm going to go when all is said and done( so to speak). I'm just going to be so overwhelmed with grief that I'm not going to be able to figure any of this stuff out later. Does this sound crazy?
I have hopes of moving to another State and big dreams about moving to another Country, I hope that I will do whatever it is at the current moment I feel I cannot or mainly should not do.
Increase your circle of friends maybe a Social club, take a class but it's good to hear that you are thinking about your future, that is a forward thinking and intelligent thing to do. Get a plan or 2 and keep working it, also if possible the help of a Life Coach could be very helpful.
You will be alright.
Before all this happened I would sit with her and ask her about our family history. I have managed to write down alot of info on our ancestors. Presently I am putting together a scrapbook of pictures of her as a child, adolesence and her life with us. I am hoping to have it finished before Mother's Day, if God permits her to be with me until then. I have gotten alot of satisfaction doing this and it has helped me release some stress, since I don't have any assistance from any of my siblings.
Had to put mom in Hospice two wks ago...and even though they have been great for her wellbeing...they only supply 5 days of respit care for the caregivers every other month. I have been so stressed with all the responsiblity of her care, that I don't want anything to do with my siblings after mom is gone.
My ordeal is the same; what will I do when she's gone? Where should I go, what should I do? I have been unemployed for the past 4 yrs. while being her caregiver. The thought of having to look for a new state to live at, an apartment, a job and finding new friends is so overwhelming to me right now. I have researched and read online about living in Ecuador. They use the US Dollar as their currency and for under $22,000 a yr. you can live a very comfortable life. I don't have a husband or life partner to accompany me on this adventure. Being born in South America, I have experienced the life and customs of other countries. Being bilingual is a great advantage, so communication would not be a problem. I am in my fifties, so I am seriously considering retiring in South America. I want to live my retirement in a country where I know I will live comfortable, healthy, peacefully and hopefully in good company.
Spend some quality time with your mom before she passes... It will be rewarding to you and will give you that peace knowing that you did everything you could for her, but make sure you make time for yourself.
Wish you both all the best!
What about looking at things you always wanted to do, school, somewhere you really want to be. I used to live in California and would love to move back but the cost of living is just too insane. To me it makes the risk of being all on your own with no safety net a bit too high for my comfort level.
He had frontal lobe dementia. Even though he was in final stages and I'd been living with anticipatory grief....his death took me by surprise at this time.
I can't stop crying...will I ever run out of tears.
Mom is able to travel so now I have to decide what to do about what she and I will do. Will we continue to live in their condo in Florida or do I take her back to
my home in Georgia. Florida has become my home and I've made many friends....but my grown children live mainly in Georgia. I am torn...think I will give it some time before I make any decisions.
It could be that your need to think about these things come up more as your mom's health fails because you need a distraction for losing her or being a witness to her decline. That's ok too. No pressure. Be kind to yourself.
How about moving to Denver to be close to your son and grand kids? Tell us more about the thoughts you have had.
Comfort and Love to you, Cattails