My mom was only visiting me out of state for two weeks when she fell getting up out of bed to go to the bathroom and broke her hip. I had a baby monitor watching her so I could get up with her each time, but she beat me getting up. She simply stood up and then somehow fell. I knew it was a game changer when the EMS said it was her hip. Her dementia has worsened and she will not walk alone again. She fell on Mother's Day morning, so it's been a month and a half. I can't help wondering how long she would have continued doing well if I hadn't went to get her. My sister needed a break, and my mom needed a break from her as well. So, I looked forward to taking care of her those two weeks and pampering her. We did have a wonderful week before it happened. It just hurts really bad.
When I was 15 my mother fell on a bus in Mexico City and hit her head. I felt terrible about not catching her for decades, until I discovered that she'd had a small stroke, and it was the stroke, not the fall, that impaired some of her functioning.
At the age of 90 last year she jumped out of bed, fell, and broke her leg, and had to have her hip re-replaced. I was sleeping on the couch outside her bedroom to be able to help her get to the bathroom, but even if I had been in the room watching her all night I would not have been fast enough to catch her.
At that point I realized that there is not always a solution.
We all just do the best we can.
IDEAL FOR PEOPLE WITH:
• Previous chair/wheelchair falls
• Impaired sitting balance
• Persons with cognitive impairment and/or leg problems (weakness, neurological disorders).
• Stroke, Parkinson’s disease and other neurological impairments.
Developmentally disabled adults and children
Greenday: I'm so glad you're mom is Ok too. I can imagine you walking in to find her eating bleach...it's tough remembering to "child proof" everything again.
Quakerite: the doctors also told me the same thing...I too, thought they were being insensitive at first, but they see it everyday. I guess I'm glad if it was going to happen it happened with me because I got her help immediately. She had fallen last year at my sister's house, and she didn't get to the doctor for over 2 weeks, and then did not go to physical therapy as set up by her doctor. My sister and brother had decided if our mom didn't want to go to PT, she shouldn't have to go. Plus, just taking her to appointments was inconvenient.
I am sorry to hear about your mom--but want you to know that you did everything right! I care for my mom, and have learned that it is literally impossible to be present every moment of the day (or night) when caring for your loved one.
I want to share a story. I had been cleaning one day. All cleaning products are locked under my sink. I had used bleach to mop the kitchen floor and had every intention of locking it back up before receiving a text that my son's baseball game was pushed up 1/2 hour. In my mad scramble to get him ready and get dinner served to my mom, I forgot. Thank GOD that after he was dressed, I went into the kitchen because I forgot to get my mother a drink. There was an overwhelming smell of bleach and the open bottle was on the table. My mom had poured bleach on her macaroni and cheese and was eating it! Talk about panic! She could have died. I had my ex pick my son up to get him to the game while I took my mom to the hospital. Thankfully, she was fine.
I understand this is no comparison to an injury that will take a lot of time to heal. The tears I cried were of panic, relief, guilt and thinking about "what could have happened".
It was only after about a month that I realized that I needed to forgive myself. Accidents happen. There are so many things unforeseen in life that are out of our control and the "what-if's" can drive us crazy. Forget about the "what if I was there--this wouldn't have happened"....it did
happen, and this mindset will drive you crazy.
I hope these words are of some comfort to you. My thoughts are with you!