I need some advice! My mom has lived with my husband and myself for the last 2 1/2 years. We both agreed to have her come live with us since she was so unhappy in the nursing home. How to I tell her I don't want her to live with us anymore? It would mean a nursing home for her and that would probably just about kill her. She DID NOT adjust well the last time she was in a nursing home. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
I need to vent every once in awhile and I haven't been on here, but I just about lost it this morning. My m-i-l, who has Alzheimer's, & is 78 yrs. old, called out this morn. Luckily, I was up
at 6:30 am when she called out. I had just fixed my breakfast and was going to let her go on calling (she either goes to the bathroom or goes back to bed). Something told me to not wait until I finished my breakfast, just go see what she wants. I went down and she didn't have any DEPENDS or pj bottoms on. I went inside the gate & found everything on the bed was on the floor except for the bottom sheet and pillowcases. Then I went to get another pair of DEPENDS in the bathroom and found her Super Plus DEPENDS in the toilet and on top of that her pj bottoms and to top that off, a HUGE bowel movement on top of her pj bottoms. I just about lost it and called for my husband. My husband came down and got the floor, toilet bowl and sink. I got the clean DEPENDS on her and changed her clothes. If my husband was working, I wouldn't be able to handle it as well.
Thanks for letting me feel like I can vent.
Carol
I thought mom was a goner so may times She was diagnosd 13 years ago. She was a tiny thing but she held on. She went all the way. The last few days she could't eat. Her brain couldn't tell her throat to swallow anymore so she litterly starved to death. It was awful. I am 59 but a few months before she passed I was in the hospital. Complete exhaustion. Kidney failure, compromised ammune system...................so take care of yourself first. You can't do them any goodif you are sick. My sister droveright by our house but wouldn't stop. My nieces and nephew the sme. Their reasoning was they wanted to remember her healthy and happy.....................unfortunetly, those aren't my last memories. I wish they were. Bu you know what? I don't feel guilty and they do. We alldo what we have to do and the rest is history as they say.......laugh a little, it feels good............Phyllis
Vent all you want! You have to get it off your chest or you will end up sick yourself!!!
If you are like me, no one will take over. Useless brother and poor planning on my parent's part will be the death of my freedom and golden years. But I still manage to have fun and have great help taking care of my mother.. All of you who know me know my battle cry: BOUNDARIES. Set them, keep them, and enjoy life while you can!
I'm glad everything went well with your mom and the nursing home. Don't exhaust yourself running back and forth constsntly. We ll have to do things we don't want to. We have to think of ourselves and that isn't being selfish.
I haven't written anything in several months but I do read everything. My mom passed 7 months ago. I cared for her for 5 years 24/7. It was my husband (God bless him)!! and myself. My sister and her kids didn't come by because they wanted to remember her when she was happy and healthy (wouldn't we all like that!!)! We have a mentally challenged daughter and it was hard on her because as moms Alzhiemers progressed she didn't know any of us and my dughter didn't understand. We kept mom home and had Hospice the last few months. Heartland Hospice is the best!!! I didn't know there was more than one hospice. I thought Hospice was Hospice. We went thru a couple before we had Heartland. The first couple dropped us because my mom kind of leveled off for a couple of months, which Alzhiemers patients tend to do that towards the end and they didn't think we needed them. Heartland was our last and they were so great!! They got mom a hospital bed so that she was lying on air and that way she didn't get bed sores. They got her a Broda chair so that she wasn't sliding and leaning when she sat up. It also has a bottom that you can lower so that her little botton didn't get so tired!! There is so much out there to help. Spititually and emotionally. Hang in there guys. It's a hard situation but we do it because we love them. They are so scared and we have to remember that!! Well, I have written enough. Thank God for all of you.....Phyllis....
i just brought my dad home from rehab . he couldnt wait to get home . he rather be with families here . didnt care for activies there . he said his activies is at home , recliner and tv .
he did good lastnight , slept all night long . so will see how it goes tonite . i hope he sleeps all night ..
go check on ur mom at odd hours ofthe night will you please ... thanks ,
We should all be so fortunate to have such a transition. Best wishes for you and your mom. God Bless and keep writing. We are always here for you.
Linda
Good job and thanks for being a story we can look up to.
So again, thank you for all your prayers and support. It is priceless.
I understand the mixed emotions, and even the anxiety of making this decision. I'm praying you and your Mom are as blessed as our families have been. Our dads are thriving in their nursing home environment, and we're pleased beyond our expectations.
tx, you're a wonderful daughter to continually be so loving to your Mom. After all your care and hard work, I'm hoping you and Mom can both rest and enjoy the change! Take care :) and let us know how things are going.
God bless.
You are always in our prayers. Be assured that you are doing the right thing. Best of wishes and prayers to you and your family.