I moved my Mom and Dad in with our family last year Dad has Alzheimers and they only stayed about 5 months (they lived next door to us for the past 20 years) I ended up moving them back home and hiring help daily (very expensive) then we ended up putting Dad in a home, we kept help for Mom then she really needed to be with someone more all day. We moved her in with us again about 3 weeks ago re did the downstairs again and it is fixed up so nice she has her own bedroom and bathroom and a kitchenette. But I am so damn tired!!! My Dad just fel and broke his hip this is the second broken hip in 7 months!!! He never had a broken bone till he went into a home. So now he's in skilled nursing for rehab (he's 91) had surgery all is well but when the rehab is over I need to find him a new home because I will not have him go back to that place. Meanwhile Mom is here again and has dementia I have 2 teenagers too. I have 2 deadbeat brothers that do pretty much nothing for their parents. It's really sad. I am so drained at this point and one brother is away on an island vacation how wonderful!!! They do nothing to help I for years have bought groceries taken to Dr. Appts, cleaned, husband cuts grass and all yardwork (2 acres) cooked dinners and now I moved Mom in with me and continue to do everything . I will be selling her home though they will need the money for the house for care for Dad and maybe Mom but that is all up to me to sell it, clean it out sell all belongings It is so much work I feel overwhelmed at times I just sit and cry. I can do this I would rather be in this situation than where they are I know they feel guilty and thats a bad place to be. Sorry if I went on too much I just needed to talk to someone.
Anne said, "Do your best and leave the rest to God." And, "When you can do no more, ask God for help." Sometimes I wonder if we would fare better asking for God's help FIRST, before doing anything? Guess I'm preaching at myself, again, as a reminder. Just want you to know I'm praying for you. Take care! :)
You have to know in your heart, you can only do what you can do. Three days are for your renewal of spending time with family will not hurt her. I can picture the fear myself if someone told me I was going somewhere for a few days with no control over anything happening. Trusting is really hard to do.
You can call her every day to check on her and tell her you love her and you'll be there soon. Make sure to reassure her. Even when you get home, do something a little extra special for her as a thank you.
My heart goes out to you. Mine are in assisted living now and I thank God for the ability to have that for them and that they can afford it. Don't worry about venting. That is what this is for. Go enjoy the wedding!
welcome to this site. I think it is a Godsend!!! I don't post often but I read it daily and it helps me make it thru the day.
My 96year old mom lives with me for the last 3 yrs. All there upstairs but the body is not so good but is very stubborn about certian things although lately it seems everything bothers her. Recently took her to assisted living facility to visit because we have a family wedding out of state in Aug and she has to stay there for a few days. She liked it but only because she knows it is for a few days. Then she started to get agitated thinking about going with a million questions. I told her that this is her only option since she can't stay home alone for a weekend.( I do leave her now for a few hrs alone but not overnight. I am an only child....Dad is gone.....I am sooooooo stressed about this along with all the other factors of caring for her daily.
Just wanted to vent since this is the only place where everyone here is in the same boat............I pray for patience every day.......don't think He hears me.
oneandonly
PS I love the jokes!!!
love, Michele
Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.
The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."
St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven … for five days!"
A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better."
The voice on the other end of the line said, "Do you know the patient's name and room number?"
She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."
He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!"
The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"
She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me a word!"
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
I won't charge you for this one LOL
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers … those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
Ps I said a special prayer for all my new friends today I'm so glad to meet you!!!
Love, Michele
Michele, you have a lot on your plate as well! I've been away most of the last two weeks, so trying to catch up still. Nice to meet you. This group has grown so much in the last few months, in many ways. Hope you find this place as comforting as I do. These friends are true angels.
Anne, how are you? You have been so busy too.
Neon, funny as ever, love the granny joke.
You all have a great evening! Praying for strength for all of us, just to get through these everyday uphill battles.
Sorry, Micheleangel. Two wacked out Caregivers. Sorry, Neon. I should speak for myself. OK, one, at least. Real tired, too. Lots to do, always. Lately I feel like I'm on a numb run... Family dynamics, solo worrying, caring, giving, doing. No thanks in return, and little help from family. They say they want to, but... Then there's no thanks from the one who receives the help... Iactually shouldn't complain too much. I have a wonderful husband and son. Micheleangel, I hope venting helps you as it does us, at times. Didn't mean to laugh, and certainly wasn't laughing at you. We just understand it all too well. Your story is like so many. And we share the tired, emotionally draining parts. You've been through a lot lately. And you deserve a medal for doing as well as you are. Hang in there. God will give you strength. It's hard, but not impossible. Just remember to take care of you. A nap, bubble bath, good night's sleep, walk on the beach, world cruise. Aaaaahhhhh to dream! Take care. Do your best and leave the rest to God. When you can do no more, ask God for help. Praying for you.
Grandma had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't
take it kindly when she ended up in the hospital for observation after
fainting (resulting in a bad fall). By the time a pair of husky interns
got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about
everything:the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and
the mattress, especially, the mattress.Suddenly, Grandma spotted a
small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?"
she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma,"
said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here.
If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall,
she can get up and switch it on herself!"