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I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)

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I ordered a chicken and an egg on line.

I'll let's you know what comes first.

🤭
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Actually, it was "Peach" and "Blossom",
the names of the two Turkeys pardoned in 2024.
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Hello?
I am awake today.
And, I am not happy about it.

It's going to be everybody's problem.
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Call the Turkey Christmas Dinner.
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What do you call a Turkey the day after Thanksgiving.

Lucky Turkey 🦃
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The people are not eating the dogs,
They are not eating the cats,
they are not eating the pets of the people that live there.
They are eating the turkeys now.
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On Thanksgiving, talk politics

You will save a lot of money on Christmas 🎁. 🤗
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Not a joke but a little humor in MIL’s latest fall and EMS trip to the ER .

She’s had so many falls outside walking to her car in the parking lot , resulting in going to the ER this year ( complete with CT Scans each time because she’s on blood thinners )……. that MIL said this time the ER doctor suggested Assisted Living . I thought it was funny , even the ER doctor agrees with DH and I .
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Did you ever look at someone, and wonder 🤔 out of millions of little swimmers, that's the winner?
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My brother is 65 and had a TBI injury in 1979. (Drunk driver hit him.) He has dementia and is physically handicapped from the accident. I take care of him but frankly, he makes my day most of the time. Sometimes he forgets to ask nicely for something. This morning he wanted a cup of coffee and it wasn't so much of a request but sounded a tad demanding. I asked him what the magic word was.....he didn't miss a beat.....and said "abracada!"
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Mum has 2 pet rats. One day she thought she saw one on the bookcase. She fed the rats - cage open when something happened behind her back. Next feed time there were 3 rats. I clean the cage and hope visitor wants to go. No, it's having a great time in luxury. Mum is feeding it gormay foods. Go to clean cage oh there is no 3rd rat. Ok where is it? In the kitchen. It's got to go! There is no food available, except when Mum is sneaking it an apple a day. I judiciously place ratsack around. Mum removes some. She goes to club and that's my time to get the rat. It is confined to a nest it has made, under the draw set. I put ratsack down in there. Ok set to go. Next morning, Mum has left defrosed steak out for it.
Wow! Following morning, the extension cord to the microwave is short and on the table. Oh thank goodness the switch is off. I leave the breakfast time tablets on the table and go back to bed. I go to put on a load of washing. Machine not working. It occurs that l should check the switch board. Well l finally get it.
Rat prefers meal with zing to ratsack. Thank goodness for cut off switches. Mum first saw wire and dead friend. She is up and l refer to cut cord while she points out dead rat.
This adventure happened over about 6 months. I still clean the cage, when she goes to club as dementia means she won't attend to it. Thankfully, she feeds them and l check water levels. She can't really look after them and they have never been socialised, consequently they are prisioners. Long story short rats and Mum are amazing survivors working with what they have.
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Not a joke but it's funny, one time hubby had an ongoing stomach issue, so I asked him to eat Activia yogurt, 2xs a day.

He did , and it got better.

So now he thinks yogurt cures every stomach issue.

Last week, with my stomach bug, he kept bringing me yogurt, and telling me to eat it.

This morning, I suspect he is getting it, will see but he is not looking well, he just told me , we need more yogurt
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I just turned off the news, and put a serial killer documentary on, to relaxed 😎
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What has 5 toes, and isn't your foot?

My foot! 😂
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I got fired from my job at the bank today, an elderly lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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One thing we should all appreciate about IKEA
is they will not sell furniture to people
who can not escape a labyrinth
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Introvert translations

maybe I'll come - I'm not coming
I'll let you know - I'm not coming
I'm not sure yet - I'm very sure I'm not coming
I'll try and come - I won't be trying anything
Ill think about it - I don't need to think about anything, I'm not coming
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the fact that Keith Richards has
outlived Richard Simmons
really makes me question this whole
healthy eating and exercise thing
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No matter what's going on in your life
there's some form of potato that can make it better
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RPI, boiling water, you will be "Mist"
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"it's so weird being the same age as old people"
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😉 Parents have a favorite child. If they tell you they don’t, then it’s not you!
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🙂 Enjoy every moment with your partner…

Because you’re gonna block each other one day.
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Stop whining about your appearance.

Your personality is even worse.
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🙂 It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.
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some comebacks:

Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.

You should really come with a warning label.

Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go.

Have a nice day, somewhere else.

Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?

I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.

Earth is full. Go home.

You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.

🙂  I believed in evolution until I met you.
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😉 It wouldn't be Thanksgiving
without a little emotional scarring.
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🙂 An optimist is a person
who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
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🙂 If you hate yourself
remember you are not alone.
A lot of other people hate you too.
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😉 I woke up tired about 3 years ago and I have never really recovered since.
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